Faithful Part 1

Patt

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Jim noticed something wrong with Blair lately. He just wasn’t sure of what it was. He needed to talk to him and see if he was doing something wrong. Jim didn’t want to fuck up the one good thing in his life. He’d had a chance with Carolyn and he’d screwed that up. It wasn’t going to happen with Blair. No way.

As Blair walked out of the bathroom, Jim leaned down and nibbled on his ear. Blair pulled away and said, “Man, we have to be at work in an hour. Don’t start anything, all right?”

Jim pulled away and said, “Sure, Chief.” As Jim got into the shower, he felt the fear try to overtake him. However, he wasn’t going to let it. He had to stay in control this time. They’d work things out.

Blair frowned thinking about the way he had just treated Jim. He needed time to think some things through. When Jim came out of the bathroom, he found an empty loft with a note. The note said:

Jim,

I’ll see you at the station. I have to take care of some paperwork and get some things done. I needed to have my own car for later too. See you in a short while.

Love, Blair

Jim stared at the note for a while before he drug himself up the stairs to get ready for work. Yes, there was something wrong with his guide. He sure as hell didn’t know what it was. Nevertheless, he was going to find out if it killed both of them.

When Jim got to the station, he went to the lab to get the test results that they had been waiting on. He heard his partner down there.

“So you’re new here, eh?” Blair said.

A female voice that Jim didn’t recognize at all, said, “I just started a week ago. And I love it so far. How would you like to go for dinner tonight, Blair?”

“Yeah, I think that would be nice.” Blair answered.

Jim’s heart was beating so hard he could hardly breathe. * What the fuck was going on? What did he miss? Blair just was asked out on a date and he accepted. Besides, Blair was his. Okay, maybe not his, but they were committed. Well, Jim was fucking committed. Evidentially...Blair wasn’t. * Jim rushed to the elevator to get upstairs before Blair found out he was down there and heard what was said.

The entire ride upstairs was like a nightmare for Jim. He was trying to get control of his feelings, but was having a problem doing it. He would have to let Blair make the decision. He couldn’t make Blair stay with him. Jim hit his forehead repeatedly on the side of the elevator. When the doors opened, Megan was standing there and she stepped on and pushed the close door button.

“Jim, what’s wrong?” She asked.

“Nothing, I just have some things on my mind is all.”

“Want to go and have a cup of coffee and talk to a friend about it?” Megan asked hoping he would consider her a friend.

“Sure, why not?” Jim answered, shocking Megan. They made their way over to the diner across the street and sat in a booth.

The server came up, they both ordered a cup of coffee, and Conner pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number. Simon answered, “Banks.”

“Captain Banks, Ellison is having some trouble with a headache. It has to do with the sentinel stuff. So I’m taking over for a little while because I couldn’t find Sandburg.”

“Fine, Conner, but try to get back here soon. And next time let me know before you leave.” Simon growled through the phone.

“No problem, Captain. I’ll have him back as soon as he’s up to it.” Megan said.

“See that you do, Conner. I’ll see you back up here shortly. Goodbye.” Simon said closing his cell phone

“Okay, shoot, Jim.” Megan started.

“I don’t know what’s wrong. I really don’t. I’m not trying to keep things from you, Conner, I don’t know.”

Conner saw the look of fear, the dread on his face, and knew that something was wrong and she didn’t need to be a detective to tell her that it was about Blair.

“Okay, Jim, is this about Sandy?”

“Why would you think it’s about Sandburg?”

“Why not? You’re best friends, when he’s upset you are, so I figured something might have happened.”

“No, Conner, it’s not Sandburg. I have feelings for someone and just found out they don’t feel the same about me.”

“Ahhhh. I get it now. You overheard something you shouldn’t have, right?”

“Yeah, right. It still boils down to the fact that I thought someone really loved me and they don’t.”

“Sandy does to love you and you know it. Something must be wrong. What did you do to him?”

The server walked up with their coffee making both detective’s very quiet. Neither wanting the server knowing their personal business.

“Thank you.” Conner said to the server as she started walking away.

“If you need a refill, just wave and I’ll bring it right over.” She said smiling at Conner.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Jim said, “Why are you saying that?” Jim looked at her so hurt it broke Conner’s heart.

“I’m sorry, Jim. I was joking, but I see now it’s not a joking matter. All right seriously. I think that maybe Sandy is having second thoughts about being in love with a man.”

“Conner, how do you know about us? We’ve been very discrete.”

“Jim, don’t worry. No one else knows. I just sensed it. Anyone with eyes can tell you’re totally in love with Sandy. I think that Sandy is in love with you too but I also think that Sandy might need more than what you’re giving him.”

“What do you mean, Conner? I’d do anything for him. What more could I do for him?”

“Maybe he wants you both to come out. Not just at the station, but everywhere. Blair is a free bird flying around and you know that he might feel caged right now.”

“Jesus, Conner you make it sound like I’m trapping him.” Jim said with such sadness that Conner was taken back with his tone.

“No, I don’t mean you’re trapping him, but give him the option to choose what he wants to do. He’ll be back, Jim, don’t worry. He loves you too much to stay with anyone else.”

“What happens if I don’t want him to be with anyone else? Especially the new girl from records in the lab.”

“Well, you’re going to have to decide what you want to do. Do you want to keep him close or let him go for a while and see what happens?”

Putting his head in his hands, he just sat there without saying a word. Finally looking up, Jim said, “Conner, please don’t mention this to Blair, okay?”

“Not a word, Jim. Not a word. Now let's get back to work.”

“Could we just sit here for a moment or two? I need to get my thoughts straight. Actually, I don’t want to get you in trouble, go ahead and go.”

“That’s okay, Jim. Well, if we’re going to talk for awhile, can I ask you some questions?”

“Sure, shoot.” Jim said actually smiling.

“Well...have things been like really good for you in the last couple of weeks? Or have you noticed something for a while and just didn’t want to admit to it?” Conner asked as quickly as she could. She didn’t want to lose her nerve.

“I’ve noticed something was different for about two weeks now. It’s not like we don’t make love, we do. Blair seems different about it now, like it’s not that big a deal to him anymore. Honestly, if I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s acting as if it was a chore to fuck me.”

“Whoa, Jim. I wasn’t expecting quite that much info. Let’s take this one step at a time. What did Sandy tell you when you asked him about the change in how he was acting?”

“I didn’t ask him. I figured he had things on his mind from work. I do that sometimes. We have a high stress job, Conner. You know that. I figured he’d talk to me when he felt like it.”

“Ellison, sometimes you’re such an idiot. I’d shoot you if I could get away with it. Besides you look too damn pathetic.”

“Well thank you very much, you’re such a good friend.” Jim said angrily starting to get up out of the booth.

“Get your ass back here, Jim. Now.”

Jim slid back into the booth and waved for the waitress for a refill on the coffee. Once she filled both of their cups, Conner turned to Jim and said, “You wanted to talk, then we’re going to talk. I can’t believe you didn’t talk to Sandy about this when it first started. He probably thinks you don’t care.”

“Conner, you have no idea how much I care about that man.” Jim said sadly.

“Well, actually Jim, I think I have an idea. I’ve watched the two of you. You're more of an action kind of guy and Sandy seems to be the talking type of guy. That’s probably been a problem from the start.”

Jim hung his head and said, “I’ve never really noticed that we had a problem. Therefore, I can understand why he’d want to go elsewhere. I’m such a loser.”

“Jim, come on, you’re no loser. You’re just a little mixed up right now.”

As Jim and Conner continued to talk at the diner, Blair walked into the bullpen quite full of himself after making that date. He saw that Jim was nowhere around. He walked up to Simon’s door, knocked and opened it and said, “Sir, have you seen Jim?”

“Well, if it isn’t Detective Ellison’s partner. Yes, I’ve seen Jim. He was having some Sentinel trouble so Conner took him somewhere to get it taken care of.”

“Shit, I’m sorry sir. I’ll try not to let it happen again. I was down in records picking up the paperwork we needed from the lab.” Blair said quietly.

“Well, if I know you, Sandburg, you were trying to make a date with the girl down there. Do it on your own time from now on.” Simon bellowed and Blair stood to leave.

“I’m sorry, Sir. I’ll try to not let it happen again.”

As Blair walked to his desk, he was trying to figure out what was happening with Jim. Why would he need help from Conner? It had been ages since his last zone out. So somehow, he figured it was something else. Then suddenly Blair figured out that Jim might have overheard him making the date with Kellen downstairs. Well, it was bound to happen eventually. He and Jim had never discussed being exclusive. Maybe they’d have to. Blair wasn’t quite sure that he wanted to be exclusive with a man that was as closed off as Jim Ellison. He really loved women. Smiling at the thought of Kellen, he got back to paperwork and hoped his partner was all right.

After about an hour, he brought his cell phone out and dialed Conner’s number. “Conner.” She said when she answered it.

“Hey, Conner,” Blair said, “seen my partner lately?”

“Yeah, he’s here with me, we’re on our way back to the station right now. He’ll talk to you then.” Conner said hanging up her cell.

As they walked back to the station, Jim said, “Conner, I love him so much that sometimes it’s scary. I’m afraid to believe it because it might be ruined. Now I know why I felt like that.”

“Jim, you need to tell him this stuff. I would love it if someone told me they loved me like you just said you loved Sandy.”

“Yeah? Well, I’ll try talking to him tonight. I promise.” Jim said as they got on the elevator.

As they stepped off the lift, Blair watched his partner walk over to this desk and he asked, “You okay, Jim?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I had one of the worst headaches I’ve had in years. Conner helped me get through it though.”

“Good, I’m glad. Listen I want to talk to you. Do you want to go and have lunch?” Blair asked.

“Right now? I just got back from a break, I think Simon might frown on that, Chief.”

“No, I meant at lunch time. I have some things to talk over with you. It’s important.”

“All right, we’re on for lunch then.” Jim said as he started his paperwork and they worked steady until it was lunchtime.

Blair got up from his desk and told Simon that he and Jim were going to go for lunch. Simon said, “We’ll see you both back here in an hour, right?”

“Right, Sir. We’ll be back in an hour.” Blair said almost laughing.

He walked over to Jim’s desk and said, “You ready to go, tough guy?”

“Yeah, as ready as I’ll ever be.” Jim said as he got up slowly and walked with Blair to the lift.

As they walked into the diner, they were about to sit down in a booth, when Kellen called from across the room. “Blair, why don’t you and your partner join me for lunch.”

Blair looked at Jim and said, “Do you mind?”

“No, that’s fine.” Jim said as he made his way back to her booth.

He sat down and she stuck her hand out and said, “Detective Ellison, right? I’m Kellen, from the lab downstairs.”

Jim shook her hand and said, “Nice to meet you Kellen.”

“Blair, are we still on for dinner tonight?” Kellen asked.

Blair looked sheepishly at Jim and said, “Do you mind if I don’t cook tonight?”

“No, that’s fine, Sandburg.” Jim said with an air of defeat in his voice. Blair didn’t even notice, because he was too caught up in the fact that the new girl noticed him.

When the server came to take their order, Jim asked, “Could I have mine to go?”

“Jim, don’t leave yet. We haven’t talked yet.” Blair said.

“No, that’s okay, Chief. I’ll talk to you tonight at the loft.”

Kellen started talking to Blair about college things and Jim noticed how much they had in common. He could see the attraction. No wonder Blair was torn. When the server brought his food, he paid her, with a large tip and said, “It was really nice meeting you, Kellen. I hope to see you again soon.”

“Oh you’ll be seeing me all the time if you live with our Blair.” Kellen said.

Jim just cringed when she said that, but noticed that Blair didn’t seem that bothered by it. He walked out the door of the diner not even saying goodbye to his partner.

Blair caught up with him outside and said, “Jim, I need a little room. I know we needed to talk about this, but I think it would be best if I just cool things for a while. Then we’ll see where we stand. Cool?”

“Fine, Sandburg. I’ll see you back at the station.” Jim said walking away from Blair.

When Jim got back to the bullpen, he finished the one thing he really had to, then went and knocked on Simon’s door. “Come on in, Jim.”

Walking in, Jim said, “Simon, I’m still having a little trouble with the headache. I was wondering if you’d be okay with letting me go home early.”

“Sure, go. Don’t worry about things here. You’re partner is capable of taking care of paperwork until you get back on your feet. Call me tomorrow and let me know how you’re doing. You look pretty bad right now.”

“Yeah, I feel bad. Sorry, Sir. I don’t mean to take off time for this sentinel stuff.”

“No problem, Jim. Go and rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Simon said as he opened the door for Jim.

Jim went down to the parking garage, got in his truck and drove to the loft. Once there he went upstairs and laid on their bed. He was hoping that he’d be able to sleep off this awful feeling, but he heard Conner knock at the door.

Trudging down the stairs, he finally got there and said, “What?”

“Ellison, you didn’t talk to him, did you? I knew you’d chicken out. You’re such a chicken shit.”

“Well, Conner if you must know, we were going to talk. I had it all set in my head when Kellen asked us to join her. She’s the woman that wants Blair.”

“Oh shit. So what did you do?”

“Well, I did the only thing I could. I got my lunch to go and then left. I couldn’t stand it. Blair was flirting with her. I’m still in shock.”

“Jim, you have to talk to him. The sooner the better.”

“Conner, he said he needed room and wanted to start dating Kellen. What the fuck was I supposed to say to that?”

“Well, you sound like you’re giving up.” Conner said sitting down on the sofa looking very depressed.

“Yes, I’m giving up. I don’t really care anymore. Conner, I’m way too fucking old for these games. Blair knew I was like this when he met me. Why should I change now?”

“Well, you might have to if you want to keep him.”

“Maybe I don’t want to keep him anymore.” Jim said sadly.

“Ellison, you’re so full of shit. You know you still want him. You’d be nuts not to. Everyone wants Sandy.”

“Thanks, Conner, that makes me feel a lot better.”

“You know that he’s one of my best friends, right? Well, so are you. I would have gone out with you in a heartbeat. So, don’t go thinking that Sandy is the only heartbreaker. You have a lot of potential. Maybe we need to work on that. I think if Sandy saw how attractive you were to women at the station, he’d come around.

“Conner, I seriously don’t want to play these head games. I mean it.”

“Fine, if you want to lose him to someone named Kellen, more power to her.” Conner said getting up from the sofa and storming out of the loft, slamming the door.

Jim looked at the closing door and thought to himself, * oh goody, now you have two of your friends mad at you. Not just Blair, but now Conner joined the ranks. *

Jim slept until dinnertime and got out of bed to make something to eat. He noticed that Blair had been home but didn’t even wake him up. He made up something fast and easy. Sitting down in front of the television, he ate dinner alone, feeling sorry for himself while scanning the channels on the tube.

When he felt tired again, he went and got ready for bed. He called Simon when he came out of the bathroom and when Simon answered, Jim said, “Simon, I’m still not feeling up to running speed. I think I’ll take a few days off.”

“All right, Jim. I hope you’ll be okay. Do you need anyone to talk to? You sound kind of down.”

“No, I’m fine, Simon. Thanks for thinking of me though.”

As soon as he got off the phone, he walked upstairs and got into bed. The next thing he knew he was sound asleep. He heard Blair come in at 2:00 in the morning and found himself getting a stomach ache just thinking about what they had been doing. Blair walked upstairs and started taking his clothes off.

Blair slid into bed next to Jim, pulling Jim into his arms and said, “I missed you, hot stuff,” while kissing Jim’s neck and chest.

Jim was so confused. He didn’t know what to make of any of this. * First, he could smell Kellen on Blair, but not the way he’d thought he would. Therefore, Blair hadn’t slept with her. Now Blair seemed ready to fuck Jim. What was going on?

Blair pulled Jim closer to him and had Jim’s boxers off in no time at all. He started kissing and sucking his chest as he moved down Jim’s long body. Jim was trying to keep his mind off this so he could talk to Blair but had no luck in that department. He was hard as a rock. Instantly. Jim pulled Blair up and kissed him very hard and said, “Love me, Blair. Show me how much you love me.”

Blair reached over and picked up the tube of lube, and started stretching Jim out. As he did this, he was kissing Jim and telling him how hot he made him. Jim was already near the edge and Blair hadn’t even gotten inside of him yet.

Blair pulled out his fingers and pushed slowly into Jim’s tight opening and Jim took shallow breaths until he felt good about having Blair move. Then he said, “Baby, move. Fuck me hard.”

Blair did just that. He fucked him harder than he’d ever fucked him before and the whole time he just kept saying how great Jim felt and hot great Jim looked. Jim was very confused. He couldn’t stop the orgasm from coming. He shouted out Blair’s name as he came and after four more thrusts into Jim, Blair came too.

When Blair finally pulled carefully out of Jim, he cleaned him up with a wipe and did the same thing to himself. Then he pulled Jim into his arms and Blair was sleeping within minutes.

Jim lay there motionless for quite some time. Finally, it happened, tears that were on his mind this morning, started and he couldn’t stop them. Before long, he was sobbing. The sobs weren’t loud, but they were enough to wake Blair up.

“Jim, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Blair asked confused from being half asleep.

“Yes, you hurt me. Not physically, just emotionally. I can’t do this, Blair. I can’t have you fuck me after you tell me that you want to keep dating. I can’t do it.”

“All right, I won’t fuck you from now on. Now let me hold you and go to sleep.”

As Jim fell into a fretful sleep, he kept thinking, * what's wrong with this picture? I’m missing something here. *

Faithful Part 2

The next day Jim awoke to an empty bed. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was already 10:00. Jim wasn’t normally a late sleeper. He picked up the phone and dialed the station asking for Blair.

Blair picked up his phone and said, “Sandburg.”

“Chief, I need to talk to you. Are you alone?”

“More or less, why, what’s up? And why did you tell Simon you needed three days off?”

“I just felt like I needed some time to get my head together is all. Now I want to talk to you about what happened last night.”

“I told you, it wouldn’t happen again, until I’ve made up my mind what the fuck I’m doing. I’m confused.”

“Chief, I know you’re confused. I need to tell you a few things first. Okay?”

“Yeah, I’m listening.” Blair said leaning back in his chair at his desk. Everyone in the bullpen wondered whom he was talking to. Conner looked over at him and knew that Jim was probably on the other line. She knew she could count on Jim to come to his senses.

“First of all, I have to tell you how much I love you. I don’t know if I tell you that when we’re not in bed and I think that it’s important. I do love you, more than you’ll ever know.”

“I know you do, Jim. I know that much.” Blair said quietly.

“Well, when you made love to me last night you never said one thing about how you felt about me. It was almost like you were just horny and needed to have some sex and since I sleep in the same room, well, there you have it.”

“What do you want me to say, Jim?”

“I want you to tell me that you love me. I want you to say that you’ll at least think on this for a few days before you sleep with someone else.”

“Jim, I’m really confused right now. I don’t know if I really love you or not. I’m wondering if it has anything to do with the Sentinel senses.” Blair whispered sentinel soft so that everyone in the bullpen wouldn’t hear it.

“Well, at least you’re being truthful. I guess that answers that question for me. I would like you to move downstairs tonight. I can’t sleep in the same room with you, Chief. I’d have to have you and I can’t if you don’t love me.”

Still whispering, Blair said, “I never said I don’t love you. I said I’m not sure. There’s a big difference. Let me figure this out first. And I like sleeping with you.”

“No, Chief, I want you out of my bed. It will only confuse us both.”

“Oh shit, you’re just pissed off because I fucked you last night and didn’t tell you I loved you.” Blair looked up as he said this and saw Conner come over to the desk.

“Sandy, you might want to lower your voice on this. Everyone is wondering whom you’re talking to. I know who it is, but they don’t.”

“I gotta go, I’ll talk to you tonight. Goodbye.” Blair said as he slammed the phone down.

“Sandy, can I talk to you please?” Conner asked.

“No, you can’t, Conner. I already know that you’re taking Jim’s side on this, so why even bother?” Blair grumbled as he brushed past her and went into the restroom. Conner, not letting a men’s room ever detain her from what she wanted to do, followed him in.

“Excuse me, Conner. The last time I looked it said, Men’s Room. So could you like, leave?” Blair said angrily.

“No, I can’t like leave, not just yet.” Conner proceeded to look under all of the stalls and then she locked the door to the room so they wouldn’t be interrupted. “Now, if you don’t want to listen, don’t. But I’m going to have my say.”

“Conner, why should I listen to you?”

“Because you’re my best friend, Sandy, that’s why.”

“If I’m your best friend why are you siding with Jim?”

“Okay, enough of that shit. You sound like a child, Sandy. I’m not siding with anyone. I want to know what you’re feeling. What you’re thinking about right now.”

“Megan, I’m so fucking confused, it isn’t funny. I just feel like I might be in over my head.”

“That’s understandable, Sandy. I’m sure that Jim will understand you needing to think about it.”

“He’s making me move downstairs until I make up my mind. He’s pissed off because I went on a date last night and came home and fucked him instead of her I guess.”

“Sandy, I can’t believe you did that or said this. Jesus, please tell me that you’ve talked to Jim about this since then.”

“What do you want me to say, Conner? I told him he was just pissed because I didn’t tell him I loved him while I fucked him.”

“Sandy, what is going on with you? You would never hurt Jim like this normally.”

Blair began pacing in the confined room and said, “I have to get out of here. I know you’re trying to help, Conner, but I need to think. I’ll talk to him tonight.”

“Blair, please listen for just a minute. If you don’t want Jim, then tell him. But don’t go out of your way to hurt him.”

“See, I knew you’d take his side on this. I knew it.” Blair said angrily as he stormed out of the restroom, leaving the bullpen without telling Simon where he was even going.

As Conner walked out of the Men’s room, Simon said, “Conner, could I see you in my office please?”

“Yes, Sir.” Megan said with a sigh. She then followed him into his office, sat down in one of the chairs, and just looked at him. She was going to make him work for this.

“Conner, you want to fill me in on what the hell is going on with Sandburg?” Simon asked, very seriously.

“No, Sir, I don’t. If it’s not having to do with what we’re working on, it’s none of your business.”

“Shit, Ellison and Sandburg are sleeping together, aren’t they?” Simon said starting to do his impression of the Sandburg pace.

“No, Sir, they aren’t sleeping together.” Megan answered in all honesty. * Well, they’re not. They sleeping in separate bedrooms. He doesn’t have to know that they were. *

“Oh thank god. I was worried there for a second.” Simon said starting to calm down again. Then he saw the angry look on Megan’s face and knew he’d not said the right thing.

“What? What did I say?” Simon asked.

“Are you saying that if they ‘had’ been sleeping together you would have been angry?”

“Conner, you’re turning things around. That isn’t what I meant and you know it.”

“No, Sir, I don’t. Why don’t you explain to me what you meant.” Conner said glaring at Simon.

“What I meant is, it’s hard enough to be cops, let alone gay cops. I wouldn’t push the gay lifestyle on anyone, let alone my two friends.”

“So, Sir, you’re saying if I told you that I liked to sleep with women, you’d be angry with me.

“No, Conner, I would not. Moreover, it’s not the same for women. You couldn’t understand.” Simon said making a face at her.

“Oh yeah, of course I couldn’t understand about how two guys could possibly love each other. And then, oh god forbid, they’d put their dick up another guys ass.”

“Conner, I’d rather not hear about this if you don’t mind.”

“Face it, you’re a homophobe, Simon. I’m ashamed to say you’re my friend.” Conner said as she stood up to take her leave.

“Conner, sit back down. I’m not a homophobe and you know it. I’m just uncomfortable when I hear that kind of talk. Men don’t like hearing that.”

“Well, you all make me mad. You’re so close-minded it isn’t even funny. Aussie’s are a lot more open about the gay issues.”

Why are we still discussing this? For gods sake, no one we know is gay.” Simon said, totally pissed off by this time.

“Well, sir, I hate to break this to you, but I’m gay.” Conner said.

“What the hell are you talking about Conner? I know you’ve had your eyes on that Detective in Vice. I heard Rafe talking about it.” Simon said trying to regain his composure.

“Yeah, I do. Her name is Detective Mel Murdock.”

“Geeze, I figured Mel was a guy. I’m sorry, Conner. Since when?” Simon asked very confused.

“I realized that I had a thing for her about two months ago. I asked her out and we’ve been seeing each other for about 4 weeks now. She’s great. You’ll like her.”

“Conner, do I have anyone else that I might need to talk to about this very same thing?”

“Well sir, I know a certain Detective that is so in love with his partner and he could use a friend to talk to. As far as I know, they’ve just broke up.” Megan said sadly.

“Oh shit. Jim dumped Sandburg? What the fuck was he thinking? I’m going to knock the shit out of him. He’s such an ass sometimes, isn’t he?” Simon asked.

“Well, that he is, Sir, but you’ve got it backwards.”

“No, you’re having one over on me, aren’t you?” Simon asked in shock.

“No, Sir. I’m not kidding you. Blair's confused and Jim's heartbroken. So I would suggest that nothing be mentioned to either and let them work it out themselves.”

“I’ll stop by and talk to Jim tonight. I don’t want him to think he can’t come to me. Do I strike you as the type that a person couldn’t go to when it’s about a gay issue?”

“Well, you don’t seem that open to new things, sir. But I guess I was wrong.” Megan said smiling. “Could you not bring this up? They would both die if they knew we were discussing them.”

“Well, I do need to talk to Sandburg about leaving the bullpen without letting me know where he was going. No way around that, Conner.” Simon said getting back to his gruff self.

“Yes, Sir. I understand. You don’t have to bring up his personal life. Right?” Conner asked pleadingly.

“No, I won’t bring up his private life, Conner. Give me a little credit. Now get out of here and get back to work.”

Megan left, went to her desk, sat down and started working. She saw Simon watching her though the blinds and then turning around when he saw she was watching him. This made Megan laugh aloud. She realized that Simon had probably not had to deal with any gay cops in his unit until now. Smiling, she walked down the hall to get some coffee.

Sandburg came walking back into the bullpen, sat at his desk, and started typing his paperwork out when Simon yelled from his doorway, “Sandburg, do you think you could clear your calendar for your boss?”

“Yes, Sir.” Blair said standing up and heading into Simon’s office dreading the yelling that would no doubt take place.

Shutting the door, Blair sat down and waited for Simon to start yelling at him. Instead, he looked up and saw a very solemn and quiet Simon. Finally, not able to stand it any longer, Blair said, “Simon, you gonna yell at me or what?”

“I don’t think I need to yell at you, kid. I think you’ve beaten yourself up enough lately. What’s going on, Sandburg?”

“I have a lot of things on my mind, Sir, and I’d prefer not to share them, if you don’t mind.” Blair said looking at the floor.

“You don’t have to share anything with me but something is going on with you and Ellison and I was hoping that I could help you in some way.”

“Conner came in here and opened her big mouth, didn’t she?” Blair said, getting angrier by the moment.

“Conner told me about her and a certain Detective in vice if that’s what you’re talking about?” Simon said sidestepping Sandburg’s original question.

“Conner is seeing someone in Vice? Man, I didn’t even know that and I’m one of her best friends.” Blair said as he stood up and looked out over the bullpen looking for Megan. He’d have to talk to her as soon as he had a moment. * Man, you’re such an asshole, Sandburg; don’t even know what’s going on with one of your best friends. In addition, your other best friend, you’re trying to dump. What is wrong with you? *

Sandburg sat back down and asked, “Captain, if you had a problem with deciding something how do you finally make a decision?”

“Well, Sandburg, it depends on what it’s about. Something with work, I have to really think on that, because it ultimately does affect all of us, whether we want it to or not. Now something personal, I guess it just depends. Could you help me with a hint?”

“Sir, I can’t tell you what’s wrong. I wish I could. There’s no one to talk to about it.”

“Sandburg, you know darn well that Jim would listen to anything you said, why not talk to him? Is it about him? Something with the Sentinel stuff?”

“Nothing to do with Sentinel’s that I know of. Well, maybe. I don’t know. Sir, have you ever been in love?”

Simon coughed when Blair changed gears that quickly and asked him that. Finally getting control of his poor lungs, he said, “Yes, I’ve been in love, Sandburg. I loved my wife at one time very much. Why?”

“Because sir, I don’t think I know what love is. I don’t know if I can love anyone.”

“Well, I can see that you love all of us as friends, does this help?” Simon asked, trying to help Blair open up some more.

“Yes, I do love all of you. You’re the best friends a guy could ever ask for. But I hurt Jim and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“So stop hurting him. Simple to me.”

“It’s not that simple, Simon.” Blair started giggling and said, "get it, Simple Simon?"

“Okay, Sandburg, I think you’re a little more upset than you appear to be. You’re making jokes about a nursery rhyme. Now you want to tell me what Jim did to piss you off?”

“He didn’t do anything, Sir. Can I tell you something and have it not go out of this room?”

“You know you can, Sandburg.” Simon said with all seriousness.

“Jim's in love with me. Okay, at first I thought it was pretty cool, but now, I’ve been having feelings for other people and I don’t know what to do.”

“Wait a minute, back up a ways and take one thing at a time. Since when has Jim been in love with you? And have you acted upon it yet?”

“Yeah, Simon, we have. Please don’t be angry with Jim. Promise me you won’t think less of us for this.” Blair begged.

“Sandburg, I can’t believe you would think that of me. First, I couldn't care less if you acted on it. What I do care about is the fact that you acted and don’t seem to know if you had feelings for Jim or not. Why is that?”

“Why is what?” Blair asked.

“Why would you sleep with Jim if you didn’t love him, too? You know how much you mean to him, right?” Simon asked.

“Of course, I know how much I mean to him. I didn’t really think about it, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. God, I was so wrong. Now Jim's heartbroken and I want to date someone else.”

Blair looked over at Simon and waited for Simon’s lecture. “Sandburg, the reason I tell men and women to not get involved with people they work with is because of this very thing. Now Jim has to remember that you don’t love him every single day. That has to be hard on him. Hell, It’s got to be hard on you too.”

“Simon, I don’t know if I love him or not. I just asked him for some space and he told me I have to move into my old room. Just like that, he’s tossing me out of our bed.”

“Well, Sandburg, Jim never struck me as the type to share with others.” Simon said trying not to smile at the very thought.

“I know that, Simon, but I don’t want us to have to change our life until we have to. Do you understand where I’m coming from?” Blair asked pleadingly.

“Well, sure, Sandburg, I get it. I also see that Ellison's doing his version of, ‘let’s pull away now, so it will hurt less later’ routine. I think you might have to do some more talking with him.”

“Simon, do you think I could stay at your place for a few days till I get my head on straight?” Blair asked.

“Sandburg, are you asking me if you can stay at my house so you can date while you try and make up your mind?” Simon asked getting angry.

“No, Sir. I would never do that. I just need to think. I can’t do that with Jim there looking at me all the time.”

“Fine, but be sure and tell him where you are so he doesn’t call in the middle of the night saying something happened to you. Do you understand?”

“Thanks, Simon. I’ll leave him a note when I get home. I’m going to go and pack.” As Blair started for the door, Simon said, “Sandburg, did you forget that your partner is home for the next three days?”

“Oh fuck.” Blair said as he walked back to the chair and sat down. “Simon, I really need to think and I can’t do it there.”

“Fine, I’ll go over and pick up your things, just tell me what you need, all right? Make up a list and I don’t want to have to carry more than I weigh, Sandburg.”

“Thank you, Sir. I’ll go and write the list right now.” Blair said as he rushed to his desk and started writing his list of things he needed for the next week. Blair decided that he’d write Jim a note too. That way it wouldn’t be on Simon’s shoulders to tell Jim what was going on. He made up his list quickly then he started on his note to Jim. It took him awhile, but once finished he figured that Jim would understand some things from reading it. Looking down at the paper, he read it one more time to be sure it sounded all right.

Jim,

I don’t know how to tell you this in person, so a note will have to do for now. You will always be my best friend, but for right now, I have to make some decisions about how I feel about sleeping with you. I don’t know if I really know how it feels to be in love. On the other hand, maybe I’m just not in it. Maybe I just love the sentinel. I’m wondering all of these things lately. Simon said I could stay at his place for a while and when I get my head on straight, I’ll be back home to discuss things with you. Please don’t think it was anything you did. It wasn’t. Jim, you’re my best friend and I’m hoping that we can still be good partners at work. I would be very hurt if, because of this, we couldn’t be friends or partners at work. Take care of yourself while I’m gone and I’ll see you in a few days, a week at the most.

Blair

Getting up from his desk he knocked on Simon’s door and walked in. “Here you go, Simon. A list of things I’ll need for the next few days. And could you give this to Jim for me?” Blair asked handing the note and list to Simon.

“You want me to pass a note to Ellison? What does it say because I might have to pick up the pieces? I’m ‘so’ not in the mood for that, Sandburg.” Simon said almost growling at him.

“Sir, I didn’t lick the envelope you can read it. There’s nothing that personal in it. If you’re not comfortable with it, tell me.” Blair said as he started for the door. Simon glancing at the slumped shoulders said, “Sandburg, you’re sure you want to do this?”

“Simon, I have to. I have to be sure how I feel about a number of things.” Blair said leaving and shutting the door.

Simon sat down and read the note and thought that it wasn’t as bad as a Dear Jim letter, so this wouldn’t be that bad. * Yeah, right Banks, you just keep telling yourself that and see where it gets you. *

Simon stopped by Blair’s desk on his way out and handed him a key to his house. “Stop and make a copy, that’s the only one I have.” Simon said as he walked out of the bullpen.

Jim was watching television. Hell, he wasn’t really watching, he was channel surfing. As he didn’t think he could get any more bored, he heard his Captain’s voice in the hallway talking to his neighbor. Then he smelled his cigar, not of it burning, but the scent on his suit.

Jim opened the door before Simon even had a chance to knock. “Is something wrong, Simon?”

Simon saw the panic in Jim’s eyes right away. “No, Jim. Nothing’s wrong. I came by to do Sandburg a favor and I told him I’d drop this off.” Simon said as he handed the note to Jim and then taking the list, Simon asked, “Where would I find all of these things?”

Simon watched the strong man he knew and admired the whole time he’d known him crumble before him. Simon saw the lip trembling and said, “Jim, sit down and read the note. It's not that bad.”

Jim sat on the sofa while Simon looked around for the things on the list. Simon was busy in Blair’s old room packing up a bag when he came out and found no Jim in the living room. He glanced upstairs and saw Jim lying on his bed. Simon walked up the stairs and knocked on the wall as he got to the head of the stairs. “Jim, it’ll be all right. He’s just confused right now.”

“I know, Sir. I’m fine. I just need some time alone. He’s not the only one confused.” Jim said as he rolled on his side facing away from Simon.

Simon couldn’t stand leaving his friend like this, so he finally asked, “Jim, do you want someone to stay with you tonight?”

“Simon, I’m not a child. I don’t need a babysitter. Thanks anyhow.”

Simon moved over to the bed and said, “Get your clothes off and I’ll tuck you in before I leave. You look whipped.”

“Simon, I just want to be left alone, please?” Jim asked quietly and finally Simon said, “Okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. He didn’t feel comfortable leaving Jim alone but didn’t see as he had much choice. Walking down the stairs he prayed that Sandburg knew what he was doing because Simon sure didn’t feel like he did.

Driving across town, Simon picked up his cell and called Jim, when the answering machine picked up, Simon said, “Jim, if you need me for any reason, I’ll have my cell next to me all night long. Call if you need your friend.” Then the next person he called was Conner. She answered, “Conner.”

“Hi, Conner. This is Captain Banks. I was wondering if you’d do me a huge favor?”

“Yes, Sir, you know I’ll do anything for you. What’s up?”

“Well, Sandburg's staying at my place for a short while until he makes his mind up about some things and Jim was really upset when I left the loft. Could you run by and make up some excuse about you being upset and didn’t want to be alone. Maybe he’d let you stay the night so you could keep an eye on him?”

“Simon, I’m not a babysitter and he’ll know damn well you sent me. He’s not stupid, after all.”

“But what if he really needs a friend but felt like I was a traitor or something?” Simon asked.

“Fine, Sir. I’ll get dressed again and head out to go and see if he needs a friend. What is with Sandy?” Conner asked.

“Conner, you can’t blame him for rethinking the whole gay thing. I, for one, think he’s making a good choice to think on it before moving into something he’s not ready for. You’re one of those people that want a happy ending and life isn’t like that.”

“I’m on my way, Sir. Don’t worry about Jim. I’ll take care of him.” Conner said, getting more pissed off by the moment. Simon was beginning to make her so angry she could hardly see.

She put her clothes back on and started out to go to Ellison’s loft. She hoped that Jim wouldn’t want to kick her ass for barging in. Shit, what she’d give to have Mel holding her in her arms right now. However, Mel had been putting Megan off for the last week or so. * Jim might not be alone in this dumped business. *

Faithful Part 3

Megan Conner parked in Jim’s parking lot, got out of her car and locked it. Heading up to the building she kept thinking, * He’s going to be pissed off Conner; he’s going to be very pissed off. Why not mind your own business and just go visit someone you really want to see tonight. *

Instead, she trudged into the building, got on the elevator and punched the button for the third floor. Once she got off, she was again beginning to wonder if she was doing the right thing or not. * Jim will not appreciate this. Jim will not be a happy camper. Jim will be so glad to have a friend by his side. Okay, she’d stay. *

She got to the apartment and knocked softly. She knew she didn’t need to pound on the door. Jim would hear her. She heard a voice she really didn’t recognize through the door, “What do you want, Conner?”

“Jim, what’s wrong? You sound terrible. I was hoping I could talk to you about something important. I’m not just here because I want to hear what happened with you and Blair. I need a shoulder for me.”

She could hear the locks being undone and Jim opened the door and said, “You ramble when you’re nervous. Now what’s wrong?” Jim swung the door open and she got her first look at a heartbroken Jim. She wasn’t sure it was a good idea to come and visit him now because she was afraid that’s how she looked too.

Conner walked into his apartment and said, “Can we sit and talk for a bit?”

“You know where the chair’s are. So sit.” Jim said and Megan could tell that he was angry. Not at her, but at someone.

“Jim, if I tell you something, can it be just between you and me?”

“Of course. I’ve been told that I repress. I’ll just repress it for you, Conner.” Jim said sarcastically.

“Very funny, Jim. I really need to know if I can trust you. I need someone to talk to. It’s important to me.” Megan said looking down at her hands and Jim could see them trembling.

“Sorry, Conner, so what’s going on?” Jim sat down and forgot all about the fact that he only had on boxers and sat next to Megan.

“Did you want to get dressed first?” Megan asked.

“Oh sorry, Conner, I’ll be right down. Sometimes I forgot you’re not one of the guys.” Jim said as he ran up the stairs to get changed.

As he was dressing, he wondered what was going on with Conner. He hadn’t heard anything about her lately. He had heard that she had a thing for someone in vice, but that was about it. Jim hadn’t even heard who it was. Once he got his pants and shirt on, he started down the stairs. Megan still sat with her head hanging down and her hands trembling.

“Okay, Conner, what’s up?” Jim said as nicely as he could under the circumstances.

“First, Simon asked me to come over and check on you. He was worried about you and thought I’d be the best person to check, I guess. I don’t know. And all the way over here, I didn’t want to, but once I got here I realized I don’t have many friends and have no one to talk to about this problem I might have.”

“All right, Conner. Slow down. I don’t care if you come by any time. You’re welcome here anytime. Is that understood?” Jim asked and she nodded her head yes. “Now, what's the problem you’re talking about? Is it that guy from Vice?”

Conner looked at him and had big tears in her eyes and she said, “You haven’t heard, huh?”

“I guess not, so tell me what’s going on.” Jim asked and this time he really meant it. He moved in closer, put his arm around her shoulders, pulled her in for a hug and said, “Megan, you know you can tell me anything.”

“The Vice officer is a woman. How's that for a shock, Ellison?” Conner asked with a tone of sadness in her voice that Jim didn’t like to hear.

“And the problem is?” Jim asked.

“Jim, we’ve been seeing each other for about four weeks and two days ago she started putting me off. God, I’m so stupid, I really thought that she was the one. You’re going to laugh but I wanted to settle down and have a baby with her.”

“That might be tough Megan with both of you being women and all.” Jim said trying to make her smile a little as he pulled her in closer for a hug.

“Shit, I had intended on asking you if you wanted to be the dad. God, I feel so stupid. I fucking love her so much.” This time Conner went into Jim’s arms willingly. Jim just rocked her back and forth trying to calm her down. He didn’t know what to say. He was suffering the same fate, so hadn’t a clue.

“What’s her name?” Jim asked.

“Mel. Mel Murdock.” Conner said. “Do you know her?”

“Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do. Want me to call her and ask her out and see what she says?” Looking at the fallen face of his friend he said, “Kidding, just kidding. I’d never do that. Besides, she’s never been into guys.”

“When you knew her, did she see a lot of different women? I never even thought about it. I just figured we were exclusive. And wham, I think it might be over.”

“Conner, I don’t know her well enough to talk about her sex life. I do know you and me well enough to know that we both seem to be in the same predicament. It’s just like with me and Blair.”

“I know and I was sitting there being so uppity giving you advice, telling you what to do while my life was falling apart.” Conner put her head back on his shoulder and started crying softly.

Jim looked at his watch and said, “Come on, you can sleep with me. I mean, sleep and nothing else.” Jim said as he got up and pulled Conner up with him.

Once they got upstairs, Jim pulled a long over sized tee shirt out of his drawer and said, “Here, you can wear this. Here’s a new toothbrush I keep for company and anything else you need is in the bathroom.”

“Thank you, Jim. You have no idea how much I didn’t want to go home.”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to be alone tonight either. Thanks, Conner.” Conner smiled as she went down to get ready for bed. After awhile she walked back up and Jim had his robe on and went down for his turn in the bathroom. Once he got back upstairs, he slipped the robe off, slid into bed, reached over, and shut the light off. “Night, Conner.” Jim said smiling at the thought of this whole scenario. “Night, Jim. See you in the morning.”

It wasn’t long before Jim felt her move closer to him. He pulled her into his arms and she snuggled up to him and said, “I just need to be held.”

“I know, Megan, I know.” Jim said understanding totally.

They both fell asleep quickly and before long the sun was shining in through the windows and Jim could feel Megan’s body up against his. He quickly moved away before his hard on scared the shit out of her. “It’s okay, Jim. I’ve been awake for awhile.”

She rolled over, went into his arms and said, “I don’t want to be alone. I need you to hold me.”

“No, Conner. This can’t happen. We’re both hurt. We’re both lonely. We can’t fuck each other because of this. We wouldn’t be able to look at each other after that. No matter what, we will remain faithful. We’ll be here for the other one for as long as we need to be. Deal?” Jim asked.

“He could feel the tremors in Conner’s body and knew she was crying. “Please, don’t cry, Megan. Please. I don’t want to cry and I’ve been on the verge all day and night yesterday. I’d like to make it through today without the need to do it either.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t believe I just tried to hit on my best mate.” Megan said starting to get out of bed.

“Megan, come here.” He pulled her back down and into his arms. “Things will get better for both of us. I was going to take off a few days but you know what? I think I can do this. Especially if I have someone around me that totally understands. So, let's get ready and go to work.”

“Thank you, Jim. You’re the best.” Megan said hugging him and then running for the stairs saying, “I get that first hot shower.” Laughing all the way down the stairs, Jim wondered when he’d lost control of this situation. He seemed to do that a lot. He, at least, was smiling.

They both got into their vehicles and drove to the station. Jim felt better after getting a little bit of sleep. Things might work out. He’d just have to be patient with Blair. He’d worry about it when the time came.

Blair was driving into the station with Simon because his car wouldn’t start. * Typical, when will my days get better? *

Simon looked over at Blair and said, “I sent Conner over to hang out with Jim since he was so upset. I knew you wouldn’t want anything to happen. I didn’t get any calls so I guess he was all right with her being there.”

Blair looked over at him and said, “Why would you send Megan? Why didn’t you send Rafe or Brown? Even Joel? They’ve known Jim longer.”

“Because Conner knew what was going on and I didn’t want to have to explain it all to those other guys. I, for one, think you’re doing the right thing, Sandburg.” Simon said looking over at Blair and smiling.

“Well, I’m glad one of us is sure because I’m not. What am I doing? I really feel royally fucked.” Blair said flatly.

“Things will get better, Sandburg. Don’t worry so much.”

As the two men walked into the bullpen what they saw was a surprise. Jim and Conner sat talking with Brown and Rafe. They were all laughing. * Oh yeah, he looks fucking upset. *

They all moved to their desks when their leader got there. Jim smiled over at Blair and Blair found himself smiling back...not even sure why. Jim walked over, handed a folder to Blair and said, “Morning, Chief. We need to go and talk to this suspect as soon as you’re ready. Just let me know.”

Blair and Simon just stood there with their mouths hanging open at the change in Jim.

Megan’s phone rang and she answered it, “Conner.”

“Hi, Megan. What are you doing?” Mel Murdock asked.

“I’m busy right now, Mel. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Sure, I’ll call you at home tonight.”

“Well, I might not be home tonight but I’ll try and find time to give you a call when I get a chance.” Megan said.

Blair heard her and came to a conclusion. He figured out that Jim and Megan must have fucking slept together. * Oh Christ, I don’t believe this. He slept with Megan. That's low even for Jim. *

Jim came by and said, “Hey, Chief, ready to go yet?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Blair followed Jim to the elevator and they went down in silence. Once inside the truck, he put his seatbelt on, turned to Jim and said, “All right, what happened to you and what have you done with my partner?” When Blair smiled at Jim, the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Jim noticed this and wondered what was wrong.

“Did you look at the file yet, partner? We need to find out who's doing that string of robberies and I think it all started with that first one. That’s why we’re going to start over again.”

Blair looked at Jim as they were going down the street and said, “You fucked Megan, didn’t you?”

“Chief, what the fuck are you talking about? You know I would never hurt Megan.”

“Okay, then why the happy, happy, joy, joy look this morning?”

“You think I had to fuck Megan to have a good night's sleep. Well, fuck you, Sandburg.” Jim said as he hit the steering wheel hard with his palm. Cussing to himself when it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch, he turned to Blair and said, “I can’t believe you think that little of me to think I’d do that with our friend.”

“Okay, I’m sorry, Jim. I was carried away. I must admit it seemed odd that she seemed so rested, you seemed so rested and she was putting off her friend in vice.” Blair said quietly.

“Do you know her friend in vice, Sandburg?”

“No, do you?” Blair answered.

“Yeah, I do. I’ve known her for years. She’s really quite nice. I think that Megan's over-reacting to this whole thing. I can’t imagine Mel blowing her off for anyone.”

“She? She? What the fuck are you talking about she?” Blair asked trying not to stutter.

“I didn’t know she was into women either, Chief. She is and Mel is nice. I hope they work things out. I really do.” Jim said tying to just stay away from their life so he wouldn’t have to talk about it.

“Did you sleep all right last night, Jim?” Blair asked looking over at his partner.

“Chief, what difference does it make. It still doesn’t change anything. So let's not even go there.” Jim said angrily.

“You’re the one that said we needed to talk things out. Now you say you don’t want to. Well, make up your mind, Ellison.” Blair said just as angrily.

“Not while we’re working, Blair. All right? I can’t do this while we’re at work.” Jim said.

“Well, tough. We won’t see each other again before I have to tell you something. I’m telling you now. I’ve decided to go out with Kellen again and see what happens. Then I might have a better clue as to what is going on in my body, my heart and my head.”

Jim just looked over at him with his mouth hanging open. Jim pulled to the side of the street and put his head down on the steering wheel. Blair saw his shoulders shaking and knew that Jim was trying to compose himself. “I’m sorry for telling you now, Jim. I felt like I should tell you before someone else did. I don’t have much of a chance to tell you personal things anymore.”

“With tears running down his face, Jim looked over at Blair and said, “Oh and whose fault is that, you asshole. I can’t believe that you told me this at work.” Jim wiped his tears off his face, brought his wall back up and drove off as if nothing had happened.

“Jim.” Blair started, and Jim said, “Shut up. I don’t want to hear a fucking word from you unless it has to do with the case. Do you understand? God, I hate you right now.”

As they pulled up to the store that had been robbed first, they got out and Jim went in to question the man again and had some different questions this time.

“Sir, you had said that your son was working that night, and your son seems like a good kid, but what if someone forced him into it?” Jim asked.

“Officer, why would my son lie to you? Would he lie to me? Can you answer me that?” The old man asked.

“No, Sir, I sure can’t. I really don’t know what to think. The other robberies are nothing like this one. This is totally different and I think I need to talk to your son more.” Jim said dreading the father's look. The father surprised him and said, “I’ll bring him down now. Could you watch the store for me?”

“Sure, Sir. I’ll keep an eye on things. Don’t worry.” Jim answered.

Blair walked up to him and said, “Jim, you really think the son had something to do with it?”

“Well, it would make sense. There might be a good reason. Who knows?” As Jim said this, a shot rang out and both Blair and Jim sprung into action. Blair locked the front door to keep all out and they watched each other’s backs going up the stairs. Then they heard another shot. Jim listened and said, “Fuck. No heartbeats in the house.” He started running up the stairs and there lay the son and his father both dead with gunshots to the head.

Jim called it in and requested the EMT’s and ambulance. Jim started doing CPR on the old man, and Blair started on the son. They both kept it up for quite some time. When the EMT’s got there, they took over for the exhausted and breathless cops. It seemed like it took a long time for them to get there. Jim stared at the son and noticed the track marks on his arms from the drugs. Jim hadn’t noticed it before. Had he been looking? Jesus, was this partly his fault? Jim got up, walked downstairs, filled out the proper paperwork and then went out to the truck.

Blair watched Jim and knew that somehow Jim would find some way of blaming himself for this whole thing. He constantly did. Blair could see the darkness glooming over Jim as always.

Getting into the truck after he finished his paperwork, he said, “Jim, could we go and talk at the loft, please?”

Jim started the truck. He didn’t answer him but headed in the direction of the loft. Blair had a feeling maybe he could stop this guilt trip before it started.

Once there, they both got out and made their way up the stairs, seeing that the elevator was out again. Jim opened the door, hung his jacket up and sat down on the sofa when Blair joined him.

“Jim, I think that we need to talk about this old man. It isn’t your fault. I know you’re already thinking up reasons to blame yourself but it’s not going to work. You knew that something was up with the son. You went to the father and asked to speak to him. There was nothing more to do. Right?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m all right. The old man worked so damn hard and then to have his son shit on him like that. If that wasn’t bad enough, he then had to kill him. What’s wrong with this picture?” Jim asked sadly.

Blair pulled Jim into his arms and just held him. Jim felt safe there. God, how he loved Blair and knew he’d be lost without him. Blair pushed Jim down on the sofa and lay on top of Jim and started kissing him with such urgency Jim had a hard time controlling his emotions.

“Blair, what the fuck are you doing? You said you want to date that Kellen and now you’re laying on top of me. Explain to me what this is?” Jim said trying to stop Blair.

“I’m trying to make you feel better, Jim. I need this. You need this. We both need this. So, shut up and kiss me back.

Jim started kissing him back with just as much urgency but stopped it right before he was about to come. “Blair, I can’t do this. You can’t keep doing this to me.” He pushed Blair off and went into the bathroom. Blair could hear him jerking off in there. For some reason this pissed Blair off. Blair walked out of the loft and waited down in the truck.

When Jim got down to the truck, neither man said a word to each other. Somehow, Blair knew that their lives had changed and it wasn’t in a good way. Blair leaned against the window and had a tear fall down his face. At the stoplight, Jim dried the tear off his face and said, “Don’t worry, Chief. You’ll always be my partner. It’s just going to take me time to get over you. Be patient.”

Then Blair started crying. “You’re giving up already? You’re not even going to wait and see how I feel in another week or two.”

“No, I’m not, Blair. I figure if you loved me you would love me already. You wouldn’t have to see if you loved me by dating someone else.” Jim said quietly. “We’ll always be best friends, Blair. Always. We’ll also still be partners.”

Blair pulled himself together as they got closer to the station. He knew he had some things to take care of.

As they were walking up to the elevator, Mel Murdock walked up to Jim and punched him in the face. She whispered in his ear, while he was lying on the ground, “You asshole. I can’t believe you fucked her.”

“Mel, wait a minute. What the fuck are you talking about?” Jim said holding her arms now. She punched hard, girl or not. “Mel, I swear to you, I didn’t fuck Megan.”

“You swear?” Mel said still fighting Jim. “Yes, I swear, Mel.” Jim said softly. “Now do you want to tell me what the hell's going on?”

Mel crawled into his arms and said, “God, I’m so sorry. She said she slept at your house last night, in your bed, I just figured she meant the other kind of sleep.”

Jim pulled her away from him and said, “You could stop this right now by telling her exactly how you feel, you know? What's the problem, anyway?”

“I don’t know, Jim. She’s so serious. You know me. I’m not into commitment. She wants kids, for Christ’s sake.” Mel said trying to keep her voice from getting hysterical.

“Well, decide what you want, Mel. Do you want Megan and a family, or do you want to play the field? It’s ultimately up to you.”

“I’ll think on it today and call her tonight. She said she’s staying at your place. Why’s she staying at your place, Jim?” Mel asked with a look of pure confusion on her face.

“Because she was lonely and confused and so was I. We held each other last night in bed. I’ll have you know she was a lady and I was a gentleman. We both happen to be in love with someone else.” Jim said smiling at Mel.

“I’m really sorry, Jim. I think I might have pissed your partner off.” Mel said evilly.

“Why would you piss him off, Mel?” Jim asked.

“As soon as I punched you and said you slept with her, he was up those stairs and out of here. Is he the one, Jim?” Mel asked with a crooked smile on her face.

“Well, he’s the one for me but he can’t make up his mind about me. Therefore, I’m going to let him go. I can’t do the let's date other people thing anymore. I’ll just start over again. It’s not fair to Blair. He should have a choice. I don’t want to push him either.” Jim said helping Mel up from the floor.

“Jim, I’m so sorry. I hope that Sandburg comes around. He’d be a fool to let you slip through his fingers.”

“Do you think you could call and tell him that, Mel?” Jim asked laughing.

“Hell, that’s a damn good idea. I should tell him what a great person you are.” Mel said.

“Nah, that’s all right. He’ll either come around or he won’t. It’s just one of those things. I have to wait a short time but I’m not waiting for long. I love him too much to see him with other people.”

“I guess we should both get back to work, huh?” Mel asked smiling.

They got onto the elevator and rode up together. Jim got off one floor ahead of Mel. He turned, hugged her and walked into the bullpen. There was loud clapping as he walked to his desk. Henry smacked his back again and said, “I hear you just got punched out by a dyke. Way to go, Ellison.” Everyone started laughing.

“Henry, I prefer to say, I was punched out by a really pissed off woman, not a dyke. Don’t call her that again, please.” Jim said as he sat down at his desk.

Jim looked around and didn’t see Blair anywhere. He didn’t see Megan either. Oh… oh… Jim knew there was going to be trouble. He started weeding out all of the sounds and heard Megan and Blair in the interrogation room.

“Megan, I can’t believe you slept with Jim.” Blair said.

“Why do you care, Sandburg? You’re the one that said you wanted to try some women. So go. Try them.” Megan said getting very angry.

Jim smiled when he realized that Megan was sticking up for him.

“Fine, I will. But did you have to sleep with Jim? He lied to me, the asshole.” Blair said angrily.

“Well, if you must know, you idiot, he turned me down. Said he had to be faithful. Go figure.” Megan said laughing as she walked out of the room.

Jim was sitting at his desk when Megan walked over and said, “I hear you got a punch in the face for your trouble last night.”

“Yeah, but thankfully I really like Mel and we made up.” Jim said laughing.

“Anyone else mentioned?” Megan asked innocently.

“As a matter of fact, she wondered about you. Why I wonder? She wants you to call her tonight from the loft. She knows she fucked up, Conner. Give her another chance, okay?”

“Hell, anyone that would take on Jim Ellison for me I’d have to give another chance.” Megan said laughing as she walked over to her desk and sat down to work.

Faithful Part 4

Blair sat down at his desk next to Jim’s and was moving around like he had something on his mind. Jim finally reached over and said, “Chief, if you have something to say, say it, otherwise, settle down. You’re driving me nuts.”

“Could we go somewhere and talk, Jim?” Blair asked still not lifting his head up from his paperwork.

“No, Chief. We’re going to finish our work because that’s what we do here. We work. If you want to stop by and talk to me tonight, you can join Conner and I for dinner.”

“Fine.” Blair said shortly. He hated the way Jim was taking all this in stride so easily.

“Ellison?” Simon yelled, “could you come into my office, please?”

Jim got up, walked into Simon’s office and said, “Can I help you, Sir?”

“What’s this I hear about you and Officer Murdock down in the parking garage?” Simon asked.

“It was all a big misunderstanding, Sir. We worked it out. She and I shook hands and everything.”

“That’s not answering my question, Ellison. What happened that she punched you out in front of other people?”

“Sir, it was private and I really don’t think it’s anyone else’s business.” Jim said calmly.

“Too late. Everyone's talking about it. Did you know she was a lesbian?”

“Yes, Sir.” Jim answered shortly.

“So why would she be punching you out?” Simon asked. “You made a move on her woman, eh?” Simon added suddenly smiling like wild.

“No, Sir, I didn’t make a move on her woman.” Jim answered and wasn’t a bit amused by this.

Jim walked over to the window, looked out and tried to think of other things because he suddenly realized that Simon didn’t like the path that Jim had chosen to travel on. This depressed Jim. Simon had always been his best friend. He now knew that Simon was his friend as long as he did what Simon thought was right. * Cut it out, Ellison. He didn’t even say anything yet. Ask him some questions. Find out how he feels about you being gay. *

“Simon, how do you feel about gay cops?” Jim asked.

“I think that a man that's gay shouldn’t be a cop. It’s too hard on the department, his partner and his boss. Gay men or women don’t think about all this when they ‘come out’.” Simon said quickly. “Jim, I don’t have anything against gay men or women. I just think this isn’t the job for them.”

“So you think I should quit?” Jim asked incredulously.

“Jim, you’re not gay. You’re a sentinel and your guide means everything to you. I think you and Sandburg might be mighty confused but you’re not gay.” Simon said adamantly.

“Simon, Blair fucked me up my ass three nights ago and I was howling his name as I came. That makes me as gay as the next gay man.” Jim said.

“Jesus, Jim, that's way more than I wanted to hear.” Simon said with a look of pure disgust on his face.

“What I’m saying is, Blair loves fucking me. However, for some reason, he’s confused now. I wonder if it’s something he’s around while he’s here at work. It sure as hell doesn’t bother him when he’s at the loft. He loves fucking me, Simon. Does it shock you that I bottom sometimes?” Jim asked trying to shock his boss.

“Oh my god, I don’t want to hear anymore of this. That was enough. In fact, it was more than enough. I want you to go for some counseling.” Simon demanded.

“Simon, you can’t make me go to therapy. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m fine. Up until three days ago, I was a man in love with another man and happy as hell.” Jim said as he headed for the door.

“What about your partner, Jim? Do you fucking care about what happens to him?” Simon called out before Jim could escape.

Jim stepped back into the office and shut the door. “Simon, you have no idea how badly you’re hurting me right now. I’ll tell you about it. You’ve broken my heart. I love Blair with everything I am. He’s my life. For some reason he’s considering dating women again. Well, I’m letting him go. I told him today that we were done. You don’t have to worry about it. Consider this my one month notice, Sir.” Jim said as he stormed out the door.

Simon walked up to the doorway and said, “Ellison, get back in here I want to talk to you.”

Jim walked back in and said, “What? You want to kick me while I’m down, Simon? Want me to lie on the floor so I’m closer to your shoes?” Jim asked sarcastically.

“Jim, sit down and I want us to talk. Not just you talking but you listening, too.” Simon said.

“Fine, Sir. I’m listening.” Jim said and stood waiting.

“Sit down, Jim.” Simon ordered. Jim sat down in the chair but never let his eyes leave Simon’s face.

“Now, Ellison, you’re going to listen to me. I’ve been around prejudice a lot longer than you have. Look at my skin, Jim. Do you suppose it’s always been easy for me?”

“No, Sir. I never thought it was easy for you but you stuck with it and made it work and we all were behind you, Sir.” Jim added.

“Be that as it may, Ellison, it was fucking hard. Do you think I’m a bad man because I want less pain and trouble for one or two of my men?” Simon asked.

“It would depend on what you mean, Sir.”

“You know what I mean. Jim, when word gets out that you’re gay you’ll not get the proper backup. You might be killed while on a silly, stupid stakeout and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Yes, there is, Sir.”

“And what would that be, Jim?”

“You could have classes here at the station on how to treat people of different social classes, races, creeds and sexual orientation. You could do many things. Telling me the things you did earlier isn’t what I anticipated from my friend. I never expected that.”

“Jim, I can’t help it. You’ve gone from being with women to wanting to be with men? What did you expect me to feel?” Simon asked.

It was inevitable for you to wonder about it. It was foreseeable for you to ask me about it but I never expected you to tell me I didn’t belong.”

“Jim, you could be killed while out there and it would be my fault.” Simon said.

“Simon, you and I both know that you don’t care if I was killed because of that. You care that it might come out in the papers. It all comes down to the fact that you’ve always thought of the station first. What's the commissioner going to think? You’ve always worried about the wrong shit, Simon. You could have been more worried about how you were going to talk Daryl into a life of college instead of police work. You could have just worried about your marriage. There are a lot of things to worry about but instead you’re worried about me being gay.”

“You can think what you want, Jim. You know that I worry about you. I always have. You’re my friend.” Simon said sadly knowing that wasn’t going to be the case from this day on.

“You were my friend. Things can’t be changed. I know that you were proud of Blair for rethinking his gay role. That hurt me more than anything, Simon.”

Simon could hear the tears in Jim’s voice and said, “Jim, I’m sorry that it has to end this way. I have to think about the department first. That’s why I’m the captain. I can’t change things just because of this sentinel stuff.”

“Before I leave I have to tell you something, Simon. I’ve been gay since I was 17. I’ve loved being with men for years so it’s not a sentinel thing. I’m fucking gay. You can’t blame it on anyone or anything. Just gay. It’s as simple as that. I tried to be with women to make everyone around me happy. It doesn’t work.”

Jim got up, walked to the door and said, “I’ll stay for the month and then I’ll be leaving the city. I don’t even want to live in a city that thinks this way.” Having said this, Jim walked out of Simon’s office.

Blair watched Jim walk out and go to the stairwell. He caught up with him and said, “Jim, where are we going?”

“We aren’t going anywhere, Chief. You’re going to be assigned a new partner so you can get used to him or her and I’m out of here in a month.” Jim said as he walked down the stairs.

“Wait a minute. What’s going on? What happened in there, Jim?”

“Nothing that hasn’t been happening for years, Chief. Don’t sweat it. I’m not taking you down with me. You’re a free bird. Like you wanted to be.”

“Jim, wait a minute.” Blair tried to talk to him but Jim shoved him and said, “Get away from me. I want to be alone. I have the right to be alone from time to time.”

“Fine, get the fuck out of here then.” Blair said getting very pissed off as he walked back up the stairs upset and worried about his partner.

Blair walked in and knocked on Simon’s door. Simon said, “What do you want, Sandburg?”

Blair walked in, shut the door and said, “What did you say to Jim to make him quit?”

“I told him how I feel about gay officers. He didn’t like my answer and he quit.” Simon said simply.

“Well, Sir. I should probably hear this since I’m the other half of the gay officer part.” Blair said pissed off.

“Blair, at least you know it’s not the right road to travel. You’re having second thoughts for good reason. I applaud you for that. It takes a big man to admit that he isn’t gay after all and was just confused.”

“Simon, you told Jim all of this?” Blair asked with a look of horror on his face.

“Well, of course I did. It’s not different than what you did to him. What difference does it make? You hurt him in one way. I hurt him in another. Either way, he’s hurt. It still comes out that he has to choose what his life will be like.” Simon said.

“I think I might have made a big mistake, Simon. I think you did, too. What if we’re both wrong. What if I should be with Jim? What if I’m meant for him? What if he was meant to be your best friend for the rest of your life? What if he’s not there to save one of our lives years from now and we die because of how we hurt him right now?”

“Well, that’s all well and good, Sandburg, but I truly believe that I’ve made the right decision.” Simon said.

“I’m giving my notice, too, Simon.” Blair said as he stood up to take his leave.

“Why? You’re a good cop, Sandburg. You’ve got potential. Why would you leave now?” Simon asked.

“Because the only reason I’m here is because I wanted to be with Jim. I didn’t want anything else. Now he’ll be gone. I can’t be here without him.” Blair said.

“So you’re giving your notice, too?” Simon asked still in a state of shock.

“Yes, you’ve got my month. I might even file a complaint. It seems that something like this should not go unnoticed.” Blair said angrily as he rushed out of the office.

Conner caught up to him and said, “What’s going on? Jim looked like he was going to spit nails when he left here.”

“He gave his one month notice. He’ll be gone after that. I gave my notice, too. I don’t like why he felt he had to leave.” Blair said sadly.

Brown and Rafe said, “Hey, Hairboy, come on. We’re all going to have a beer, you can fill us in on what’s going on with Ellison.”

“Good idea, Henry.” Megan said as she drug Blair out of the bullpen with the others.

When they all got to the bar, Joel, Henry, Rafe and Conner all sat there waiting for Blair to say something. Instead, Blair picked up his cell and dialed the loft. “Ellison.” Jim answered.

“Hey, we’re having a bullpen meeting at Sullivan’s bar, want to meet us here? Everyone wants to know what’s going on. Do you want to tell it your way, or do you want me to tell it mine?”

“Chief, I’m really tired. I’m just going to lie down and rest awhile and I’ll talk to you later. Don’t drink and drive. Okay?”

“Okay, you had your chance. Bye.” Blair said as he shut the cell. “I thought I would give Jim a chance to tell you all what’s up but he doesn’t want to. He’s having a small nervous breakdown right now and feeling a little sorry for himself. Not that I blame him at all.”

“What’s going on, Blair?” Joel asked.

“Well, Jim gave his one month notice because he found out what Simon thought of Gay officers today and he said he couldn’t work here anymore.” Blair said softly so that not everyone in the bar would hear.

“Why the hell does Jim care about that?” Rafe said.

“Because Jim’s gay, Rafe. He found out that his friend wouldn’t stand behind him today and it broke his heart.”

“No way! Jim’s not gay.” Brown said in shock.

“Yes, Jim is. So am I. I was thinking about going back to being with women because Jim didn’t want to come out at the precinct but now I know exactly why he felt that way.” Blair said.

“No way, you’re both gay? Since when?” Joel asked nicely not with any type of anger or anything like that in his voice.

“Well, I’ve been gay for about six years now. Long before I met Jim I can tell you that much. But Jim has been gay since his teens.” Blair said.

“So you’ve decided that maybe Jim's worth fighting for, Sandy?” Conner asked.

“Fuck, yes. I can’t believe I was such a chicken shit. That’s what it was. I was a chicken shit. I didn’t want to commit. I was frightened of what you all would say. I was just plain terrified.”

“Is there something we can do to make Jim change his mind?” Joel asked.

“I don’t know, Joel. I honestly don’t. I gave my notice too because I realized when I heard Jim, I had hurt him more than anyone could ever hurt another human being. I have to live with that every day of my life.” Blair said sadly.

“Maybe you should go home and make it up to him, starting right now.” Conner said.

“I don’t think he’ll ever let me make it up to him, Conner.” Blair said and got lower in his seat.

“You can be so stupid sometimes. He adores you, Sandy. I offered myself to him and he turned me down because he believes in people being faithful. How often do you hear that? Go and talk to him now, Sandy, or I will.” Conner said with a wicked smile on her face.

“Fine, I’ll go and talk to him. If he kills me in my sleep, you’ll all investigate, right?” Blair asked.

Rafe said, “Hey, you need a ride cuz your car's broken down, remember?”

“Oh yeah, shit. Who wants to give this poor gay guy a ride to see his lover so he can beg his forgiveness?” Blair asked.

Joel stood up and said, “We’re out of here. Come on, Blair. Let's get over there now. I'd hate to think of him over there all by himself all night.”

“Thanks, Joel. Bye everyone, see you tomorrow.” Blair said as he walked out the door.

On the way to the car, Joel saw Blair shaking and knew it had nothing to do with the cold. He pulled Blair over to him, kept him close and said, “Don’t worry, Blair. Things will work out. Just tell him how much you love him. Tell him exactly what you told us tonight.”

“I sure hope so, Joel. I can’t live without that man. He’s wonderful.” Blair said.

Joel smiled all the way to the loft. He talked nonsense with Blair to pass the time and got him there as quickly as he could. As soon as they drove up Blair turned to Joel and said, “Want to come up, Joel?”

“No, Blair, you need to do this alone. Now go.”

Blair got out of the car and ran upstairs as fast as he could. He walked into the loft after opening the door with his key and saw the dark loft. He could hear Jim upstairs moving on the bed.

Blair threw his key into the basket, took his shoes off and tossed them aside. He ran up those stairs and stopped when he saw Jim lying there naked on the bed. Jim hadn’t expected Blair home for a long time, so he was stroking himself off and was almost there when Blair walked in.

“Starting without me, Jim?” Blair said teasingly.

“Blair, I can’t do this.” Jim said as he tried to get up. Blair knocked him back on the bed and said, “I’ve got a few things to tell you. Are you ready?”

“Yeah, Chief, I’m ready.” Jim said quietly.

The moonlight was shining through the windows and Blair could see the tears in Jim’s eyes and hoped to make that up to him in grand detail.

“First...Jim, I love you so much. I’m a chicken shit. I was afraid of what people would think. Well, okay, I used to be. I’m not anymore. I told them and I don’t fucking care. I was terrified of never being with a woman again and now all I can think of is being with you until I die. I never want to be without you, Jim. Never. I adore you. I love you and I want you so bad, I could pound nails with this hard on.” Blair finally finished.

“Blair, I can’t live with someone that thinks he isn’t sure. I need to know if you want this for sure. I’m not trying to make you choose. I’m just saying, I can wait. I’m a patient man.”

“Well, Jim, I’m not a patient man and I want you to fuck me into next year, do you hear me? I want it so hard that I’ll be screaming tomorrow. I want you to fuck me so hard the neighbors will call the police and I hope they wake Simon up.” Blair said smiling.

“All of that could be arranged, Blair. I love you. Are you sure?” Jim asked scared to death to make a move before he was sure.

“Jim, feel this big boy and tell me I’m not sure.” Blair said as he rubbed Jim’s palm over his hard as nails cock.

Jim decided to get down to business. He started undressing Blair very slowly. Blair didn’t like slow but that was tough. Jim was doing this his way. Blair had to lie back and enjoy the ride. As he took each thing off him, he would lick and bite a section of the exposed skin. “Jim, I’m going to come before you even get a cock close to me. Could we move this along?” Blair asked.

“Nope, Chief, this is my time, my way.” Jim said as he moved down Blair. Then as fast as he had done that, he stood up and took his clothes off and let Blair just watch him as he took them off so slowly, it was enough to make Blair moan. Once they were off, Jim got on the bed the opposite way. Jim knew that Blair loved 69 and intended on making this very good for him. First, he flipped Blair’s ass to him, pulled his cheeks apart and licked Blair’s divine crevice. Jim loved Blair flavor. It was something to indeed write home about. Jim just kept giving him a tongue bath until Blair was moaning so loudly that it was even hurting Jim’s ears. Finally, Jim poked into his sweet hole with his tongue and held Blair down as Blair tried to fuck himself on Jim’s tongue. Jim pulled Blair’s cheeks apart even more, buried his face into his ass and was putting his tongue into it like he’d never done. Blair was begging to help him find release. Jim got up on his knees and pulled Blair along with him, never leaving that sweet place. “Jim, please let me come, let me come.” Blair was begging. Finally having a little pity on the man, he laid Blair back down and turned him around. Now they both had a cock in front of their face.

“Man, I love this so much. I’m so sorry, Jim. I’m so sorry.” Blair said as he started licking Jim’s cock and balls.

Jim took Blair into his mouth and started sucking hard. Blair knew that he wasn’t going to last long before he came so he had to have Jim catch up. He started humming and nibbling on Jim’s cock as he moved his head back and forth. Finally, Jim let up a little with Blair so he could catch up with him. He started moving his hips in rhythm to the movements of Blair’s mouth. Oh yeah, Jim was getting close. Jim licked his fingers and started putting them into Blair’s ass, one at a time.

Blair was now moaning around Jim’s cock and Jim was right on the verge. He rubbed Blair’s prostate and Blair started coming in spurts into Jim’s welcoming mouth. At the same time, Jim pounded his cock into Blair’s waiting mouth. He came right after Blair, screaming his name repeatedly.

They lay there on the bed trying to just breathe. Finally, relaxing a little, Blair flipped around and went into Jim’s arms for his cuddling time. * How had he thought he didn’t want this? What a fucking moron you are sometimes, Sandburg. No more. This is it; Jim will be it and no one else. *

“I love you, Jim.” Blair said as he fell asleep in Jim’s arms.

An hour later, Jim woke to a cuddly Blair in his arms. Not being able to resist, he got out the lube and started getting Blair ready for the fucking of his life. Blair didn’t fight Jim one bit. In fact, he begged Jim to hurry and get him ready and slide in. Finally, when Jim thought Blair was ready he did slide in, just about zoning before Blair brought him back around. Jim knew that this was going to be unrestrained, but he’d make it up to Blair later. He started pounding Blair savagely. Blair came after about six thrusts and Jim followed right after him.

Jim cleaned them both up and pulled Blair back into his arms. “I’m going to feel that for a few days.” Blair said smiling.

“Are you all right, Blair?” Jim asked concerned for a moment.

“Oh yeah, I’m doing just fine. Lets get some sleep.”

When Jim woke up that next morning, he saw the empty bed, the sadness washing over him and wondered why he’d pushed him out this time. As that very thought was there his partner, friend and lover came up the stairs carrying breakfast. He was wearing nothing but a carnation hanging from his cock. It was beautiful. Jim was totally turned on from that sight alone.

Blair saw the cock standing straight up and said, “Oh look, someone wants me for breakfast instead of food. Well, food can wait.”

He giggled as he jumped into the big bed and they began kissing passionately. Blair lay back and let Jim take over. He wanted Jim to fuck him hard and long again. He didn’t care if he was sore from last night.

Jim, being Jim, wouldn’t hear of it. He told Blair, it’s your turn, Chief. Want to show me how hard you can fuck me. I need it hard. I want you to fuck me so hard I won’t know what I’m saying or doing the whole time. I don’t want you to get me prepared. I want it now.

What could Blair do with Jim begging like that? He had to do the job. All except the part about not getting him ready. No way was he going to do that. He would just loosen him up with one or two fingers. That would be something different.

He started getting Jim ready and Jim said, “Baby, I want it so hard. I want it now. I want you to take me right this second. Blair couldn’t hold back anymore. He shoved his cock into Jim’s tight hole and Jim howled with pain, but said, “Don’t stop Chief. Please?”

So Blair continued pounding into him. Blair wasn’t sure that this was the right thing to do but Jim wouldn’t make Blair hurt him for no reason. Blair took his fucking at a little bit of a different angle and every time he stroked in, he hit Jim’s prostate. Jim started howling saying, “Chief, more. More. Please harder.”

Blair started pounding into Jim till he felt like his own cock was on fire. He reached around and gave Jim’s cock two strokes and Jim came screaming his name repeatedly once again. Once Jim came, his tight channel stroked Blair’s cock and Blair came screaming his name as loudly as Jim had screamed Blair’s.

After a few moments, Blair pulled out carefully and looked to be certain there was no blood. It looked fine. He cleaned Jim off and then himself and curled into Jim’s arms again. “Let’s not show up for work today. What will they do, fire us?” Blair asked smiling.

“Fine by me. I’d love to lie in bed all day with you. That’s much more fun than work anyhow.

“Jim, are you all right?” Blair asked seriously.

“Yeah, Chief, I’m fine. I wouldn’t have been all right if you hadn’t have come back. I know that much. I not only love you but need your like you wouldn't believe.” Jim said sweetly.

“Thank you, Jim.” Blair said in mid-yawn. He was exhausted. Jim would kill him before he was 35. What a way to go.

Jim pulled him even closer to him and said, “I love you so much, Baby. Stay with me forever? Please?”

“I can do forever with you, Jim. I really can. I promise this time if I get scared or confused, I’ll talk to you first.”

“Okay, let's rest a while and then we can do this again.” Jim said laughing.

Before long they were both sleeping soundly. So soundly they didn’t hear the phone or the answering machine.

“Ellison, please call me back. This is Simon. I need to talk to you. I need to tell you some things.”

Faithful Part 5

After another nap, Jim went down stairs to see about a shower. * Man, I never believed a person could fuck that many times in one evening and morning. I have the sense of smell to prove it. * Jim got into the shower and was smiling widely thinking of his love who was still sound asleep upstairs. Jim was wearing the younger man out. What a nice change of pace.

As Jim got out of the shower there was a light knock on the door. “Chief, you don’t have to knock to come in here. It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked.” Jim said laughing while toweling off.

“Well, I don’t want to make you crazy. I’m trying not to wear out my welcome, know what I mean.” Blair asked

Jim pulled Blair into his arms and kissed him. Blair pulled away and said, “Time out. I need to get a toothbrush in this mouth. Not fair, you smell good everywhere.”

“So jump in the shower, I left plenty of hot water for you, baby.” Blair climbed out of his boxers and got into the shower while Jim watched his backside view in the mirror. Smiling, he said, “Blair, do you want to do anything special today? Just you and me?”

As Blair turned on the water he said, “No, I really hadn’t thought of anything because we are technically supposed to be at work, Jim. Did you forget about that?”

“No, I plan on going to work, just when I feel like it. What are they going to do fucking fire us?” Jim asked as he walked out of the bathroom.

“Ellison, get your ass back in here.” Blair hollered from the shower.

“What you need Chief?”

“Don’t walk away when we’re in the middle of a conversation. I hate when you do that. I’m going to tell you when things bug me now. You tell me the same things too. All right?”

“Chief, I’ll call Simon and tell him we’ll be in to the station in about an hour. That all right with you?”

“Yeah, Jim. That would be much better than just blowing our boss off.”

“I could say something, but I’m not.” Jim said and started laughing. “Jim, you are ‘so’ not funny, man.” Blair said trying not to laugh.

“Can I leave now and fix us some breakfast?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want too much, okay?” Blair asked.

“Sure Chief, hurry up and we can run by that coffee place and get some of that good coffee you like.”

“All right. I’ll get out as soon as I can.” Blair heard Jim leave the room and Blair found himself smiling like crazy. He was totally in love. * How he thought he didn’t want Jim was beyond him. It was all right, as long as they fixed it. Everything would be fine now. Blair planned to take care of Jim from this day on. *

While Jim was fixing up some scrambled eggs, he saw the light blinking on the phone. He figured he had better check their messages. There were eight messages waiting for them. He pushed the button and listened as Blair came walking out of the bathroom.

“Ellison, please call me back. This is Simon; I need to talk to you. I need to tell you some things.” Beeeeeep.

“Sandburg, are you there yet? I need to talk to you and Jim. This is Simon. Please call me back.” Beeeeeep

“Hi, Jim, this is Mel Murdock. I just wanted to apologize again. Would you and Blair like to have dinner with Megan and me this weekend? Our number is 555-6281. Let us know.” Beeeeep.

“Sandy, this is Megan. I imagine you’re still sleeping. I wanted to know if you want to come over this weekend to Mel’s house for dinner. Let me know at the office today.” Beeeeep.

“Ellison, Joel here. I’m just calling to see if you two need help with anything. Because if you do, you know that you can depend on me for anything, right?” Beeeeep.

“So Sandburg, me and Henry are waiting here in the bullpen. We’re dying to know what happened last night. Did everything work out? Did you two make up? Oh... this is Rafe, by the way.” Beeeeep.

“Ellison. This is Simon. I really need to talk to you. I’d like you to come by my apartment on the way to the bullpen today. I need to see you in private. I couldn’t sleep last night. I need to talk to you about some things. Please call me or come by.” Beeeeep.

“Sandy, where the hell are you? We’re dying to see you. You decided to play hooky today? A little too old to play hooky don’t you think? By the way, Simon looks like shit this morning. I thought that might make your morning. See you soon. Hopefully.” Beeeeep.

“Chief, do you have the feeling that we’ll have no privacy about this whatsoever?” Jim said as he started laughing.

“I take it you didn’t call Simon yet.” Blair said.

“Nope. I decided we’d just show up when we wanted.” Jim said smiling over at Blair.

Blair picked up the phone, dialed the precinct and asked for Simon. Simon answered, “Banks.”

“Hey Simon, Jim and I had some things to take care of this morning, we’ll be there in about an hour. Sorry for not calling sooner.”

“Sandburg, thanks for calling. I was getting worried. Did you and Jim get my messages?”

“Yeah, Simon, but we’ll talk to you when we get there. Later.” Blair said hanging up.

“It doesn’t matter what he says, Chief. It still hurts to know that he feels that way about us. I don’t know that I can get over that.” Jim said sadly.

“I know that, Jim. I’m sure not going to push on this. We’re the gay couple. He was talking about us.”

“Yeah, he was and that broke my heart, Blair. It really hurt badly.” Jim added.

“Well, Jim, now it might have had something to do with the fact that your partner was being a fucking prick and asshole yesterday, too.”

“Yeah, that could have made things worse, I guess.” Jim said laughing.

“I’m really sorry, Jim. I’ll never be able to make that up to you. Therefore, you just have to keep listening to me begging for forgiveness. Right?”

“Blair, I’d listen to anything you have to say as long as you’re by my side. I don’t care what it is. I love you so much.” Jim pulled Blair into his arms and held him close and Blair could feel slight tremors coming from his love. He asked, “Jim, are you all right?”

“Yeah, I just get a little emotional now and then. It’ll pass. I really thought I’d lost you, yesterday. It’s going to take awhile to get back on track for me. Sorry, Chief.”

As they were getting to walk out the door the phone rang and Blair picked it up, saying, “Sandburg.”

“Hi, Blair, this is Kellen. I wanted to know if we’re still on for tonight.”

“Oh... sorry, Kellen. No, I got back with my lover so I won’t be dating anyone ever again. Sorry. I had planned on calling you today when I got to the station.”

“But, Blair, you said you didn’t love her.” Kellen whined.

“I never said it was a her, Kellen. It’s a him. I’m wild about him. I’m totally in love with him. I’m sorry.”

“Well, you should be. I never would have dated a man that dates men. That’s just sick, Blair. Do you know what you're doing?” Kellen continued whining.

“Yeah, I do know what I’m doing. I’m in love. Gotta go. See you at the station.” Blair hung up the phone, smiled at Jim and found Jim with a huge grin on his face.

Jim found himself thinking things might just work out for them after all.

The ride to the station, they discussed the new case that had come into their laps yesterday. “Do you have any idea’s on this one, Blair?”

“Yeah, I do. But I want to read all the paperwork again before I say anything.”

“Okay, partner that sounds good. I don’t have a fucking clue on this one.” Jim said angrily.

“It’ll work out, Jim. Don’t worry so much.” Blair fussed at Jim and found Jim smiling at him again.

“Jim, I think we better keep the goo goo eye looks out of the bullpen while we’re working, what do you think?”

“Goo goo eyes?”

“Yeah, you just made goo goo eyes at me. They’re fucking cute as hell but not in the bullpen.”

“Chief, I do not make goo goo eyes at anyone.” Jim said flatly.

“Yes, you do, Jim. I can tell you, you’re fucking gorgeous when you do it, too.” Blair smiled as he kissed Jim at the red light.

This was their first kiss out in public and Jim liked being out. In fact, he liked being out a lot more than he ever thought he would. He leaned back into Blair and kissed him until the car behind them honked their horn. Jim sat back up and flipped them the bird as he drove off. Blair could do nothing but laugh his ass off.

“Sounds like Megan and Mel got things worked out, don’t you think, Jim?” Blair asked.

“Yeah, sounded like they worked it out pretty well. Did you want to go to their house for dinner this weekend? Do you like Mel?” Jim asked.

“Anyone that Megan loves, I’m going to like. She’s one of my best friends. You know that.”

“Mel is really nice, Chief. She’ll take good care of Megan. Now, I have something to talk to you about before we get to the office.”

“Why don’t I like the sound of this?” Blair asked getting automatically nervous again.

“It’s nothing bad, Blair. I just have something to ask you. How do you feel about surrogate dads?”

“What?” Blair looked at him like he had lost his mind.

“Well, Conner said she’d love to have a baby with Mel and she wondered if I’d donate the sperm for her. She has to discuss it with Mel, yet, but I wanted confer on this subject and see how you feel. What do you think, Chief?”

“Well, to tell you the truth, Jim, I never gave it much thought. I’d never really thought about us having a baby. We’d get to be in the baby’s life, too?”

“Well, I wouldn’t do it if we didn’t.” Jim said.

“Then I like the idea. It’s not like you and I can have one. We both love kids so we’d be good with a baby.” Blair said smiling.

“Chief, don’t get your hopes up. Mel might not go for it. We’ll see what they say, okay.”

“Fine by me, Jim. I like the idea of being a dad. Although what would that make me?”

“Blair, let's not worry about it right now. We’ll worry about it when the time comes.” Jim said laughing.

“Now I have a question, Jim. Are you going to give Simon a break today or not? I need to know where I fit in this.”

“We’ll have to wait on that one too, Chief. The only thing I know for sure is I owe a thank you to Joel for bringing you home last night.” Jim said with a huge grin on his face again.

“Jim, man, you’re going to have to get the goofy grin off your face or the bad guys will eat you up.” Blair said laughing and rubbed his hand over Jim’s right thigh before they pulled into the parking garage.

Once they were parked, they got out and walked to the elevator. Waiting there, Conner walked up, slid her arms around Jim’s waist and said, “Hey, hot shot? Think you can come in any time you want to now?” Jim pulled away from her, hugged her hard and said, “Yeah, I think I can pretty much do anything I want. What are they going to do, fire me?” They all got on the elevator and talked all the way up to their floor. Getting off, everyone gathered around them and slapped Jim on the back as he walked by.

“Hey, guys, let's keep this professional, okay?” Jim asked.

“He’s hung like a horse.” Blair said smiling. Everyone in the bullpen cracked up. Jim turned beet red and said, “Sandburg, knock it off.” Sitting down at his desk he got that paperwork out that Blair wanted to look over and put it on top of their workload.

Simon came to his doorway and said, “Detective Ellison, could I see you please?”

“Yes, Sir. Be right there.” Jim said getting up. He walked into Simon’s office and said, “Sir?”

“Come in, Elliso,n and shut the door please.” Simon said, still not looking at Jim.

“It might be better to keep the door open, Sir. It’s more professional.” Jim said calmly.

Simon got up, closed the door and said, “Please sit down, Jim. I need to tell you a few things. I’m hoping that you’ll keep them between the two of us.”

“Fine. What is it, sir?” Jim asked.

“Jim, remember everything I said yesterday?” Simon asked. At the nod of Jim’s head, Simon said, “Well, I lied. It was one big lie. I beg you to not tell anyone this, Jim. It’s something I don’t want to get out, ever.”

“What did you lie about, Sir?” Jim asked confused.

“Jim, the reason I was angry at you and hoping that Sandburg would rethink everything is because I had feelings for you for some time.”

Jim just sat there looking at his boss and said, “No, you don’t. I’d be able to tell if you did, Simon.”

Simon looked into Jim’s eyes and Jim saw a very sad man. One that knew he had missed something he had wanted. Simon had been too afraid to go for it.

“Shit, Simon. How long?” Jim asked.

“Since you came on board. I’ve had to fight the urges daily.” Simon said. “I just wanted you to know that this doesn’t change things but didn’t want you to leave thinking I hated gay people.”

“Shit, Simon. I came in here all ready to either kick your ass or tell you off. Now what do you suggest I do?” Jim asked, quite confused.

“Well, could I be lucky enough to have you forget about this whole thing?”

“No, I can’t. Why didn’t you talk to me, Sir?” Jim asked.

“Because you work for me Jim. We don’t have the type of jobs to let us be open about our lifestyles. I don’t care what anyone says. By the way, all of your friends were in here this morning telling me they’re going to walk if you do.”

“They’re just upset. They don’t mean it, Sir.”

“Stop calling me sir, Jim. We’re talking about personal stuff. Could you just call me Simon?”

“Sure, Simon. I’m sorry that you didn’t talk to me. We could have tried to work things out.”

“Nah, I saw the way you looked at Sandburg from the first day. I knew you were a goner.” Simon said sadly.

“Are you all right, Simon?” Jim asked, concerned.

“I’ll be fine, Jim. I’d really like to have you take back your resignation. Blair, too. I don’t want either of you to leave. I don’t care what you tell everyone out there as long as it isn’t the truth.” Simon said.

“Well, Simon, I better get out there and get some work done. Blair thinks that he might have a few ideas on that new case we got yesterday. So, I’m going to go back to work.” Jim said as he stood up.

“Jim, I’m so sorry for everything I said yesterday. Please say you’ll forgive me some day.” Simon begged.

“Simon, you’re already forgiven. Now, I’ve got work to do.” As Jim stood by the door, Simon walked up to him, took Jim’s hand in his and said, “Thank you for understanding.”

“No problem, Simon. We’ll talk to you later on today.” Jim said as he walked out the door.

As he walked into the bullpen, Henry walked up and said, “So do we all have to quit?”

“No, H. You don’t have to quit. Simon and I worked it all out. Everything's fine.”

“Great because I really like Major Crime.” Henry said laughing as he walked off.

“Hey, Jim, did you get things worked out yet?” Rafe asked on his way to his desk.

“Yup, sure did. Not to worry, Rafe, everything's worked out. You won’t have to leave Major Crime. Sandburg and I are both staying.” Jim said smiling again.

Conner stood to the side and just listened to them and said to Blair, “Sandy, what’s going on? Did I miss something?”

“No, not that I know of. I’ll find out and tell you about it later.” Blair said quickly before Jim got there.

“I heard that, Chief.” Jim said as he sat down.

“Well, I certainly hope so. You’re a fucking sentinel, Jim. You should be able to hear all of us.” Blair said sentinel quiet.

“Chief, is it okay if we stay here and don’t quit?” Jim asked all kidding aside.

“Sure but I want to know what the hell he said that turned you into this man before me. You’re not the heartbroken one that came in this morning.” Blair said.

“I’ll tell you later, okay?” Jim asked.

Megan walked up to the desk and said, “Mel and I want to take the two of you out to lunch today. Can you make it?” Megan asked nervously.

“Conner, we’d love to have lunch with you and Mel. How about 1:00?” Jim asked. “That all right with you, Chief?”

“Sure, that would be great.” Blair said wondering when he’d lost control of all that was going on in this bullpen.

Blair went back to reading the file and trying to get a feel for this case when Simon called Jim back into his office. Rafe came up to Blair and said, “Sandburg, have you figured out what the hell's going on with those rapes yet?”

“It’s getting messier, isn’t it, Rafe? I mean each one seems to be escalating. That scares the shit out of me. Is everything in this file? All of the paperwork on these women.”

“Shit, Sandburg, he isn’t particular. He raped a guy last night.” Rafe said.

“No way. This guy went from doing seven women to a man?” Blair asked.

“Yup, the man was questioned this morning. He’s a mess. I think he’d probably give more info to a woman detective so Conner said she’d go and talk to him this afternoon.”

“Rafe, this doesn’t make any sense at all. Why would he rape seven women and then a man? I don’t get it.” Blair sat there chewing on the eraser of his pencil.

“Well, you’ll have lots of time to try and figure it out because he seems to be backing off a little bit.” Rafe said. “The first seven were pretty close together and then this last one was two weeks after the seventh.”

“Rafe, what if he wanted the man all along, but wanted us to be looking for someone else. Throwing us off the scent more or less?” Blair asked.

“You think that this man raped seven women to get to one man?” Rafe asked incredulously.

“Yeah, I do. We might need to check into this. I’ll talk to Jim about it when he comes out of Simon’s office.” Blair said looking over the papers again.

Conner walked over and said, “Sandy, I need to go and question the man that was attacked last night and wondered if you’d go with me.”

“Sure, that makes sense. I might be able to see if there is anything he’s not telling us as you question him.” Blair said getting up and grabbing his jacket.

Blair walked over to Simon’s office and knocked on the door, opened it and said, “Captain, I just need to tell my partner that I’ll be at the hospital with Conner questioning the new rape victim.”

“Chief, I‘ll see you when you get back, all right?” Jim said nervously.

“Don’t forget about lunch, Jim.” Blair said as he walked out and shut the door. * What the fuck's going on with them? I know that look, but what was it? Guilt? Why would Jim be feeling guilty about being in Simon’s office? All right, Sandburg, stop working yourself up into a frenzy. We’ll tackle it after lunch. *

He walked up to Conner and said, “Conner, look at Jim and tell me what you see watching him?”

“He looks upset about something. I thought they worked it all out.” Conner asked.

“Me too, but he looks pretty upset, don’t you think?” Blair asked.

“Well, why not ask him at lunch today.” Megan said as she pushed Blair into the lift.

The ride over went fast talking about the case. Megan turned to Blair and said, “Sandy, what would you think of Jim fathering a child for me and Mel?”

“Actually, Conner, I think it would be a pretty good idea. His genes might be passed on and you could have a little sentinel on your hands.”

“And what do you think of you being a father of one for Mel?” Megan asked looking at him very seriously.

“You both want to have a child at the same time? Don’t you think that might be pushing it a little bit?” Blair asked.

“Actually, it was Mel’s idea. She wants to carry a child so badly but so do I. It’s not like we have to do it at the same time. We were thinking maybe six months apart or something. What do you think of that idea?”

“Why in the world would you be considering me?” Blair asked.

“Besides the fact that you’re gorgeous? Well, let’s see. Mel is 6’2” tall, and wanted a smaller male to have a child with. She didn’t want to have a little girl as tall as her. She keeps having dreams about a little girl. She thinks you’d be perfect.”

“Man, I’m like totally blown away. I’ll have to think on it but I’m pretty sure that Jim and I will agree to it if we have visiting rights and so on.”

Conner smiled and said, “Blair, you’re the best. I can’t wait to talk to Jim about this too.”

“Well, it won’t be that much longer, will it? Let’s get this question and answering over with so we can get back to the station for lunch.” Blair said as they walked into the hospital. Blair dreaded this whole questioning. Poor guy, must be a total basket case.

Faithful Part 6

As Blair followed Megan into the victim’s room an odd thought struck him. The room was so dark, dreary and just depressing. Didn’t the hospital think about things like this? This couldn’t help the poor man. Blair was going to open the damn blinds first thing so the man could see that there was actually sun shining out there. It happened so seldom that Blair felt they shouldn’t pass it up. What would a normal man do when attacked by some psycho? Who knew? Nevertheless, Blair felt like he should help this man out a little bit. Maybe he could find out if the man had ever been with another man before. No, that was none of his business. * Get a grip Sandburg; you can’t make everyone’s life better. You can’t even take care of your own. * Blair sighed as he stepped closer to the bed.

“Mr. Chase,” Megan said, “I’m Inspector Conner, of the Cascade PD, and this is my partner, Detective Blair Sandburg.”

When the man heard Blair’s name he turned over, stared with dead eyes at Blair, and asked, “Sandburg, is that really you?”

“Spense, you need to talk to me. We need to find out who did this to you and why.” Blair said trying to remain calm when he realized that this was a friend of his.

“Sandy, you know this man? Would you prefer I pull Jim in on this?” Megan asked.

“Spense, are you all right with me being on the case?” Blair asked his friend.

“I don’t want anyone else, Blair. I’d like if you stayed on.”

“All right...but you have to know that we’re going to be asking some tough questions. Are you up to it?” Blair asked.

“Yeah, let's get this over with.” Spenser said in defeat.

“Mr. Chase, were you able to see the rapist’s face?” Megan asked.

“No, he had a mask on and he used one of those voice contraptions that changes the sound of your voice.”

“Spense, now you need to close your eyes and think back and see if you remember anything about him you would recognize. Was there anything familiar about him at all?” Blair asked.

“Yeah, there was something about him, while he was raping me he kept saying, “You're finally mine,” like he had been wanting me for some time.” Spenser said quietly.

“Mr. Chase, you believe it was someone you know? Do you think you could give us a description, as in height, weight, scars and that type of thing?” Megan asked hopefully.

“I believe that it was someone I know. Why else would they have disguised their voice? If it were someone I didn’t know they wouldn’t have needed it, right? And did that rapist use it on his other victim’s?” Spense asked trying to stay calm, but not really doing a very good job of it.

“Blair looked at some of the notes that Megan had made and said, “Spense, you’re right. If it’s the same man he never used anything to change his voice with any of the others. We might be on to something. It might be someone you know. Is there anyone that has made his feelings known towards you in the last six months or so?” Blair asked.

“A teacher from one of my classes came on to me, Blair. It can’t be him. He might be an odd guy, but I can’t see him raping all of those women to get to me.” Spense said with his head hanging down. Spenser really felt like his life would never be the same. As if things weren’t bad enough, then someone he knows has to be investigating the rape. Spense turned away from them and curled into a ball.

“Conner, could I see Spenser alone please?” Blair asked.

“Sure, I’ll be outside.” Megan said and then she whispered, “get that name of the teacher for us to check out, Sandy.”

“I’ll be out in a few minutes.” Blair said. He then walked closer to the bed and said, “Spense, you can talk to me now. We’re alone. Nothing will ever leave this room.”

"Jesus, Blair, I can’t believe this. I wanted to be with a man, you know that, just not this way. I should have made up my mind sooner, I guess.”

“Spense, who have you been thinking about being with? I need to take all things into consideration.” Blair said taking hold of Spenser’s hand and holding on to him to let Spense know he was there.

“Do you remember, Shel, from your class? Well, he’s the one I’ve been interested in. I couldn’t get up the nerve to do anything about it. He kept asking me out but I told him I needed more time. I was scared, Blair. I was scared.”

“I know, calm down. I don’t blame you. The first time's hard enough without someone putting pressure on you. You’ll still have that chance of a first time, Spense. This wasn’t your fist time. This was taken from you, not given. There's a big difference. Don’t worry about Sheldon. I’ll talk to him and see what’s going on with him. He doesn’t need to know anything about what happened.”

Tears started rolling down Spenser’s face and Blair said, “Do you want me to hold you? I don’t want to do anything that will make you uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, I’d like you to hold me.” Spenser whispered.

“Megan pushed the door open about an hour later and saw Blair holding Spenser in his arms and rocking him while Spenser cried his heart out. Megan was so proud of her partner that very moment she about burst. * Sandy is one of the best people I know. He deserves nothing but happiness from life and Jim. * She walked back out to the hallway and sat down on the chair that sat there and waited patiently for her partner.

Once Spenser had calmed down a little Blair asked, “Spense, I hate to ask you, but do you think you hurt this person at all. Did you try and fight?”

“Yeah, I had blood all over my hands from the scratches and bruises I put on his neck and face. I went right through the mask.”

“Spense, I need to go and see if they took the proper scrapings when you were down in ER. I’ll be back up to see you tonight. You hang in there. Oh, let me call my friend who deals in rape crisis and he’ll come over to talk to you. Would you be okay with that?”

“Yeah, Blair, I would. Thank you for coming up. I’d like to have you come and see me tonight. I can’t close my eyes at night because I’m too afraid. Do you think I could sleep for a few hours tonight with you here?”

“Yeah, I’ll bring my partner up for you to meet. You’ll like him. His name's Jim.”

“I thought Inspector Conner was your partner.” Spense said surprised.

“Well, she is today, but my usual partner's Jim Ellison. He’s great. You’ll like him. We're together in all things if you catch my drift.” Blair said smiling.

“No shit? That’s great. I’m happy for you, Blair. At least you did something before someone else made the decision for you.” Spenser said sadly.

“Spense, I have to go now. I’ll see you tonight. Try to rest and if anyone upsets you, ring for the nurse. You don’t have to put up with it.” Blair said as he squeezed Spenser’s arm with warmth and caring.

As Blair walked out into the hallway, he smiled at Conner and said, “Come on, Partner, we need to see if they took scrapings of underneath his finger nails. He said he drew blood on the man's neck and face. If we happen across our guy, he’ll be easy to spot. We have two possibilities. Let's get busy and take care of this case. It makes me sick. Conner, I think this guy raped seven women to cover this one up.”

“Sandy, do you really think that? That's past weird, I mean...why?”

“Maybe someone that didn’t want to be found out. Someone that was trying to hide his homosexuality. Maybe someone that is neither of the two men that Spense mentioned.” Blair said concentrating on it as they walked down to ER.

Once down there they checked the logs and found out that all things were done according to regulations. They had the scrapings. Now they just needed to find their man. Blair turned to Megan and said, “I’m going back up to ask him one more question before we go. Come on.”

The two detectives walked back to the room and knocked and Spense told them to come in. When they walked in, Spenser tried to smile, but it didn’t quite reach his cold, dead eyes. “Forgot something, Blair?”

“I know that this is really hard, Spense, but I need to find this guy. Can you think of anyone at the University that you wondered about in the last six months or so? Did you ever look at any of these men and think, I wonder if they’re gay.”

“Why? What does that have to do with anything? I might have thought that about three different men over the last six months.” Spenser answered.

“I need their names, Spense. I won’t hurt you or anyone else in the process. I promise.” Blair said as he pulled out his notebook.

Spenser gave him the three names of men that he’d thought about and Blair wrote them down and said, “Okay, I’m going to get on this right away, Spense. I’ll see you later on tonight. Take care.”

“Bye, Blair. Good luck.” Spense said as he rolled back over to his curled up position again.

When he got out to the hall, Megan said, “Jim's going to meet us at the University. I thought it might help if we had another person on this. He might hear something that isn’t meant for our ears.”

“Good thinking, Conner. Did you call Mel and tell her lunch was off?” Blair asked.

“Shit. I’ll do it now.” Conner said as she dialed the cell phone of her love. When Mel picked it up she said, “Murdock.”

“Hi, Mel, it’s me.” Megan said.

“Hey, Sugar, how're you doing this fine day?” Mel said smiling broadly.

“I have to cancel lunch, babe. Blair and I are on to something that might be a good lead. So, we’ll have a rain check, all right?”

“Sure, you go and get your job done and I’ll see you tonight. Maybe we should plan on dinner with them tonight, you think?” Mel asked.

“I’ll ask, but let's not plan on anything yet, Mel. Let’s see how this case pans out.” Megan said

“See ya later, sweet stuff.” Mel said hanging up her phone. Megan found herself smiling like an idiot. The idea of being so much in love with this woman was just weird. Megan had never really thought about women while she was younger but as she got older, the thoughts were there, she just needed to act on them.

“Sandy, Mel would like to have you and Jim meet us for dinner tonight if we get this taken care of by then.” Megan said as they started driving out of the parking lot of the hospital.

“Well, I’d have to see what’s up with Jim but I don’t see why it would be a big problem.” Blair said smiling at the goofy grin on Megan’s face.

Once they got to the University, they saw Jim’s truck and walked over to it. Jim was down on the ground tying his shoelaces so they hadn’t seen him right off. “I was wondering when you were going to get here.” Jim said standing up with a huge smile on his face.

There was no one around so Blair touched Jim’s hand to let him know that he was thinking of him. Jim held his hand for a few moments before letting go. Jim loved the feel of Blair’s skin against his. Blair had skin like nothing Jim could even describe. It was so soft and gentle. Jim had to shake his head to get the thoughts out of his head because he was beginning to get hard. Not something you want to do while questioning a rape suspect.

Blair handed Jim the notebook and said, “These are the names of the guys we need to check out. We want you to listen and see if you notice anything out of the ordinary. We need to find this fucker soon.”

“Amen, guys, now let's get this show on the road.” Megan said walking up the stairs to the main building. Once inside they found out where each of these men were and started for the first one. The teacher. His name was Royce Masterson. They walked down the hallway and knocked on the door where he was supposed to be. He opened the door and said to Jim, “Can I help you?”

“Mr. Royce Masterson?” Jim asked.

“Yes, and you are?”

“I’m Detective Jim Ellison of the Cascade PD. I’m here to ask some questions about the rape that was committed the other night on campus. Your name has come up and we need to check out a few things.”

“My name came up about a rape? You’re joking right?” Masterson said loudly and then he saw Blair standing there and said, “Sandburg, what the fuck are you doing here? You told them about us, did you?”

Jim looked back at his partner and saw Blair’s face turn red. Blair said, “Masterson, where were you last night at 10:00?”

“You fucking told them that I’d try to make you do something, didn’t you. Did you mention to them what a cock tease you were?” Masterson said.

Jim was so pissed off and wasn’t quite sure why. “Mr. Masterson, we’re getting away from the question here. This has nothing to do with Detective Sandburg. We need to know of your whereabouts last night at 10:00.”

“Well, that one's easy. I was out to dinner with my wife’s parents. Assholes didn’t let me get out of there for hours.” Masterson said somewhat relieved when he realized he was no longer in hot water.

“I need your wife’s name, address and phone number, Sir.” Jim said.

“No, you can’t talk to my wife. She’ll want to know why and you can’t say that's why. She has no idea I’m gay.” Masterson begged Jim.

“Sir, I have to check out your whereabouts from 9:00 last night until 11:00.” Jim stated firmly.

“How about the restaurant? They know me well and we were there until about 12:30 this morning. They can give you the information.” Masterson said trying to save his ass.

“That will be okay for now, Masterson, but if we need more, we’ll have to get back with you.” Jim said as he started walking down the hallway.

This whole time Megan had remained quiet and just wondered what she had missed on this one. She would have guessed that this man tried to force Blair into something he wasn’t willing to do. God, she hoped not because Jim would kick his uptight, rich ass. Now this idea made Megan smile.

As they walked over to the next building, Blair kept waiting for the boom to fall on him from Jim. Jim didn’t say a word. This wasn’t a good thing. He could tell by Jim’s body language that Jim was more than pissed off. The next person on the list was Sheldon Mitchell. He wasn’t in his class. The next person on the list was Linc Brennen. He was in his class, answered all of their questions, and admitted to wanting to ask a few guys out but he had an airtight alibi for last night. He was with his professor getting help in some classes. He gave the Professor’s name to them and they let him get back to class.

Conner said, “Jim, who do you want to talk to next? Anyone in particular?”

“Why not ask Sandburg? He seems to know more about them then we ever would.” Jim said pissed off. He walked to the next room and asked to see Mark Martin. When he came out, he smiled at them and said, “Could I help you?”

The first thing they all noticed was that he had no scratches or bruises to be seen. However, Jim could hear his heartbeat pounding like a jackhammer.

“We’re investigating the rape from last night and need to know your whereabouts between 9:00 and 11:00.” Jim said.

“Well, that's easy. I was hanging with my professor. We studied all night long.” Mark said very nervously.

“What is the professor’s name, Mark?” Sandburg asked.

“Professor Archer. You remember him don’t you, Sandburg?” Mark asked.

“Yeah, I remember him. We’ll have to check your alibi.” Sandburg said looking over at Conner and Ellison and saw they were ready to leave.

Mark reached out, grabbed Blair’s arm, and said, “Blair, please don’t do this. He’ll be so pissed off that anyone knows. I wasn’t studying. He’ll get in trouble for nothing.”

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly say for nothing, Mark. WE have someone else with him as their alibi. Seems somewhat strange. Did he leave you at all?” Blair asked.

“Well, yeah, he was busy doing other things. And he said he was also tutoring, but I was there, I swear.” Mark said.

As they walked out of the building, Blair said to Jim, “I think we should check the library for Shel and ask if he’s seen anyone that fits that description since last night.”

“Fine.” Jim said coldly.

“Jim, don’t be pissed, okay. We’ll talk about this later.” Blair said.

“Fuck that shit. I need to know if that guy pushed himself on you, Sandy.” Megan asked.

“Fine, yes, he did. I stopped him and the security guy pulled him off me. I told him I wouldn’t press charges if he kept away from me. I know, I know. It was stupid. I should have pressed charges. I was scared.” Blair said all in one breath.

Megan and Jim both came towards Blair and Jim said, “I’m sorry Chief. I’m an ass. What can I say? I was jealous that I don’t know everything about you.”

“Jim, you can’t know everything about me. I'll never know everything about you, either.” Blair said.

“Sandy, when did this happen?” Conner asked.

“About four years ago. Right before I met my blessed protector.” Blair said smiling now.

As they walked into the library they just looked around. Blair had told them what Shel looked like, and they knew who to look for. As they walked around, Jim heard a heartbeat beating very hard over to the right in the back of the library. Jim asked the person in charge if Shel was here today and she said, “Well, I know he’s here. I don’t know where he went.”

“Chief, I think it might be him. Let's not get too wild here but don’t let him slip by. Are there any other ways out of this place?” Jim asked.

“Nope. This is the only way in and out.” Blair said.

Blair walked back towards the person in the corner of the library and said softly, “Shel, is that you?”

“Yeah, why? I’m trying to find a book I need for tomorrow. What do you want, Sandburg?” Shel said angrily.

As Blair got up close to him, he saw the black eye, the bruises on his face and cheek. Then he saw the gashes in his neck. “Shel, what happened to you? It looks like you got in a pretty good fight.” Blair asked.

Shel thought since he was bigger than Sandburg he’d get by him easily. What he hadn’t planned on was a very angry Sandburg. So as soon as he started to try and run over Blair, Blair shoved him so hard that he was down on the ground faster than you could say, ‘Sandburg.’

Blair was reading him his rights and cuffing him when Jim and Megan got there. Jim looked on proudly as Blair shoved the man into the hands of his partners. Blair was pissed.

After they took him downtown to book him, they had to ask him questions in the interrogation room. He gave everything up quickly. He wanted to make a deal. What people won’t do for saving their own hide?

Megan met up with Blair and Jim as they walked into the garage at the station and asked, “Mel wanted us to meet her for dinner. You guys game?”

Jim looked over at Blair and said, “Sure, I guess so.”

“Jim, could I talk to you first?” Blair asked. Conner said, “I’ll meet both at the deli in about 20 minutes. See you then.”

“So what’s up, Chief?” Jim asked reviewing his partner knowing something was up.

“I want to know what was going on in Simon’s office this morning. You want the truth from me all the time, well, I want no less, man.”

“I planned on talking to you tonight about Simon, Chief. I really don’t want to get into it right now. I think we should go and relax and then go home and rest.”

“No, we can’t. I promised Spense that we’d come up and sit with him for a few hours so he could sleep. He doesn’t feel safe, Jim. He’s scared to death and he’s got no one.”

“Okay, Chief, we’ll talk about it while Spense's sleeping, deal?”

“I guess that would work. Nothing's wrong, is it?”

“No, nothing's wrong. Don’t worry so much. I love you.”